Be Aware and Choose for Yourself

This is a very difficult post to write. It's difficult because I am full of emotions and I need to be clear and logical with what I am about to say.

We are adopting. We hosted an eleven year old girl in 2011. When you host, you need to have a sort of 'mini' home study done. The hosting organization has sort of a default relationship with One World Adoption Services. If you want to host, you have OWAS do your home study.

I DO NOT have an issue with the hosting organization. I DO NOT have an issue with any one that works there. They have been great.

One World was able to get our mini home study done. I don't think we had any issues then. It was pretty straight forward.

When hosting turned to a desire to adopt this child, we had to wait for her father's parental rights to be terminated. This took several months longer than we were told it would. This had nothing to do with OW. Meantime we rehosted, and our girl turned twelve.

Because OWAS had done our hosting home study, the simplest thing to do was to use them for the adoption.

This is where the pile of problems began to stack up. I do not have the time to outline every single event as they happened. What I will do is list the issues we had, as clearly as I can, so you can see for yourself why you wouldn't want to use this agency.

1.) Emails bad news. Repeatedly.
2.) Claims not to have correct number. Repeatedly.
3.) Cant keep up with correct information. Repeatedly.
4.) Asks for documentation that is none of their business. (IE several months worth of bank statements, and house payment records)
5.) They do not ask questions. They deliver decisions. (IE Income claim and last years tax return don't match. You are unqualified. Really? All that meant for us was that my hubs had gotten a raise and promotion in the last few months. A simple note from his employer was all that was needed.)
6.) Heavy handedness.
       >They decided we couldn't possibly afford another child. They made up the following: 3 mos expenses in savings, 2 small credit cards paid off, 'more on time' house payments [we had never missed one!?] Once we did all that PLUS paid off our van, we contacted them to complete our home study. This took us a year to do.
       >Decided that parts of what we had ALREADY done had to be redone, even though certain documents were good for several more months.
   
8.) When our social worker needed to cancel meetings & visits, or tell us she was running almost an hour late for a meeting, she always chose email. I don't always check my email (and really, there are a lot of ppl who don't have Internet at home, or access to their email accounts every second of every day, so this was a poor choice of communication. Esp since she was given our numbers REPEATEDLY.)

9.) When meetings had to be cancelled, there was never an apology, and rarely was there an explanation. The emails would be very curt: I cannot make it for your home visit. I can reschedule for next week.

10.) We have repeatedly asked that when she email one of us, that she CC the other. She never did this. Even when I would email her and CC Gabe, so ALL SHE HAD TO DO was hit 'Reply to All', she refused to do so.

11.) When our caseworker emailed me Monday afternoon, in response to an email I sent to her double checking the rescheduling of our home visit, we were told they would no longer be working with us as they decided not to approve our home study. No questions, no apologies, no PHONE CALL, no chance for us to explain or ask questions.

Even though the baby I am now pregnant with doesn't count against our finances until he/she is here, and even though friends in similar situations had to show plans for closing in rooms or adding on, we were given no such chance. Again, they play god and make up their own rules.

They have offered to hold onto our home study and complete it in a YEAR. No, thanks. We've moved on. To an agency that sees our daughter as a waiting person. To an agency that doesn't try and play god. To an agency that works within the law and the standards that are already in place, NOT MAKING UP THEIR OWN.

Oh, also? Monday afternoon I posted this as my Facebook status :No one adopting should EVER work with One World Adoptions. NEVER EVER. Period. THE END. We were then sent an email telling me to remove the status, or they would seek legal action. Classy.

Am I angry? Yes. They cost our daughter a year of family. A year. She will never get that time back. We will never get that time back. I am enraged. It is inexcusable, and unforgivable.

I have been very careful in this post to be factual. I have emails to back up everything I have stated. I have many more examples of wrong doing by OWAS, but it didn't happen directly to us, so I will not post those.

I do know people that have completed adoptions with One World. I am in shock as to HOW they happened, given our experience with our case worker and other people in charge there.

If you have any questions, I would be happy to answer them.

NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO BE MADE TO WAIT LIKE OUR DAUGHTER HAS BEEN FORCED TO. Please- research your agencies online before you make your choice.

The 'A' Word

Some pretty encouraging things happened this weekend as far as hosting K goes. An acquaintance of mine mailed us a check to go towards taking K to the game ranch and Monkey Joes (the 2 activities that I mentioned in my last post). It was very sweet and we are very grateful! The second thing was a friend from church walked up to me yesterday and asked if I needed anything for K by the time she gets here Tues. When asked out right, I really do have a hard time accepting help. I generally don't even let the baggers at Publix take my groceries out..."I got it" is what I tell them....even if I don't. So it was hard on my behalf to say "pajamas". And then this sweet lady said she would take care of the pjs and make sure we had them by Tuesday. Relief and gratitude washed thru me.

Later today, I will go to Walmart and use a gift card another friend gave me to get last minute groceries and possibly some underware for her. My mom donated all the toiletries that K will need. Things are coming together, and it's exciting to watch God provide what we need. We couldn't MAKE this stuff happen- it's all God's hand on K's behalf.

Another quick note that I need to mention: please please please do NOT mention the word 'adoption' anywhere near K. She is unavailable for adoption currently and if she hears the word, she might get her hopes up. She speaks pretty good English, and even the ones that don't know that word. I have one friend that refers to that as the 'a' word, lol.

Say a quick prayer today as she travels to us! I'll post pics tomorrow night after we get her!!!

The Time Aproaches~

We are less than a week away from picking 'K' up at the airport. We set up her bed, washed her sheets and cleaned out a drawer for her. I set her alarm clock, plugged in her lamp and started cleaning. I'm not sure she'll care that I washed out the fridge and cleaned the vents, but she might ;-)

Some people, when they host, fear the language barrier. Some people fear they won't like the food that their family normally eats. This is our third hosting, and I don't fear those things. At least not much. I'll stock up on chicken, Ramen noodles, chips, fruit, potatoes, cucumbers and tomatoes. Surely K will like something we have, right? And I hear she speaks okay English, but even if she didn't, I have had amazing talks with people via the computer translator and charades.

Honestly, my biggest fear is her being bored. We can all remember being kids and being at some one's home for a few days and once there is nothing to do- anything can happen. Homesickness to hyperactivity. The last 2 summers I have kept us moving and going places. This year, our budget is so tight you can hear it squeak and I won't be able to do that. I really want to take her to Monkey Joes and I really want to take her to a game ranch nearby where you can pet and feed all kinds of animals. I'm praying I can do both. At the very least we will be able to swim at the lake quite a bit. I'm praying she likes to swim.

My other concern is one I can't quite put words around. I want to make sure she sees God in our family and knows that Jesus loves her and has a plan for her life. Even though everyone else has quit on her, He will never quit. My prayer is that we can show her that in 100 different ways while she is here. I know her history, and it's painful and harsh and too much for an 11 year old. I pray we can begin to touch her heart and set her on the right road. The road where she doesn't become like her parents, or those around her, but a woman who has a purpose and a hope and does good things for others.

This is a prayer someone posted on a pic of her before we agreed to host her (or even knew she COULD be hosted):

"Father God cover K that what Satan would try to use in that pain and betrayal you would claim your glory..that all of it would be used and that this child would not remain in that hurt but cling to you while you carry her from it. May she rise up a God fearing woman that knows your love. May you send her rescue now Lord, a woman that will share you with her! Claiming her life for you Lord!! Amen"

Please pray that our family can be her 'rescue'.

On a slightly different note, but just as serious, there is a sight called Reeces Rainbow. Many of you have heard of it. It has pictures and short bios on children in other countries that are waiting to be adopted. These kids are special needs kids; some have FAS, some have Downs Syndrome or CP or HIV. Some are barely affected and others have horrible health problems. These are the unwanted of the unwanted. Time for these kids is short, because after they turn 5, they are moved from 'baby houses' to 'adult houses' where they spend their days drugged, under fed, and strapped to their beds sitting in the one diaper they get for the day. Sounds too awful to be true, yet it is. 85% of these kids die in the first year after they are transferred out of the baby homes.

This sight has matched so many kids to their forever families.

Today, a cutie pie with Downs Syndrome died without a family. He was so cute and when I saw the fwds saying he had passed, I cried. He was almost 3 and deserved a family. He probably died of something that a family and proper medical attention could have prevented.

People debate about helping kids in other countries before we help our own. That's like saying that missionaries have no business going to other countries until everyone in America is a Christian.  A life is a life, whether they have a disease or not and whether they are overseas or not. Children are dying while people do nothing. People are stalling around waiting for a convenient time to adopt and children die with no family. You can't look at this sweet face and not be moved.

 Pick someone to help and do it. For Warner. For Ksenija.