Caution: will BRAKE for doughnuts

Yesterday, I had a long time to think about will power. Usually, I just have the passing thought, "I need more will power." Or even, "Tomorrow I will have more will power and I will do better at (fill in the blank)." Mostly, it's about eating. And what kicked it off yesterday was I had done pretty well all day at cutting out most carbs, and then Gabe "someone" came home from work with a dozen Krispie Kreme doughnuts.

Let me just say right here that I freaking LOVE Krispie Kreme doughnuts. It's genetic, and I blame my dad for that. (Once we stopped in Knoxville, TN at a KK shop that had the HOT DOUGHNUT sign lit. Which was fine except we were trying to get back to our hotel driving thru pouring rain and a tornado warning. Yes, warning. As in, there IS a tornado, get somewhere safe. I guess Dad thought if he was going to go, he was going to leave with a belly full of sugary goodness.) And even if my dad hated them, I am a carb-a-holic, so I would love them on my own.

Most of the time they are not a real problem. I don't live near one of their stores, so unless someone brings them into my house, I'm safe. I have been known to eat 4 at a sitting and lick the sugar out of the box when no one was watching. So the fact that I 'only' ate 2 yesterday was kind of a miracle.

Then the guilt for being a pig sank in, and I went on a brisk walk around the neighborhood for a while and then came in and did crunches. While I was walking, I had actual quiet to think. And I mostly thought about will power.

What is "will power" exactly? Why can I have the will power to spend my whole afternoon wanting a Coke, and drinking sugar free grape Kool Aid instead. Or to NOT put a bun on my hamburger, and then turn around and eat 2 raspberry jelly filled white sugar coated doughnuts?! Why will power for one and not the other? Why can I work out every day for months at a time, but I can't make my self stop watching Hoarders long enough to go to bed at a decent time? It's like WP only sticks to certain things. And not always the things I WANT them to stick to.

The doughnuts are still in my house. I didn't eat one today. Today, I have will power. Tomorrow I may be licking the inside of the box while the kids are watching TV and then chasing it with a can of Coke.

Is will power a myth? Is it real? How do you get more? Is it another name for strength or determination? Or do they all overlap each other somewhat? And where do prayer and God come in the picture?

I found myself wishing there was a store where I could stock up on it. Or at least a vitamin supplement.

So as you can see, I got nowhere with my thinking. Maybe if I had more will power, I could figure something out......