Is God Scratchy???

I homeschool my kids, which is all fine and dandy...I don't mind doing it and for US, it is the right decision- at least for right now.  I am glad and thankful I get to spend so much time with them. But sometimes, they ask me a zillion questions, one right after another, and it just makes my brain hurt.

I just got back from taking them to the post office. Most of the way there and back, they decided to ask me questions about two of their favorite topics: God and Heaven. Here is a sample of what I had to deal with in rapid fire succession.....

Where is Heaven? Is the sun there? Are there snakes there? Will they bite? Will the bites make us sick? What about mosquitos? Will they suck our blood there? How 'bout spiders? Will they bite? Do they have mouths in Heaven? Will we have mouths in Heaven? What will we eat? Will we have legs? Can we walk? Can we run? Can we breathe under water? God can breathe under water? Can we sit down there, bc all the walking will make us tired? Why won't we get tired? You mean no more naps? YAY! Can I take my stuffed monkey with me? Why not? Why won't I miss him? Does God have really cool toys there? Can God really see us everywhere? Even in the dark? Even under water? Even when we're taking a bath?! Can He hear my thinking? What if I just move my mouth...will He still know what I am saying? Will I get in trouble in Heaven? Will God put me in time out? Hey, in Heaven, Hadley won't pinch, and if she DOES, God will wack her with the spanking spoon, right, Mommy? Is God really REALLY everywhere? Is God scratchy? Hey, in Heaven, we won't have to pee, will we, Mommy? That will be the BEST part.

Really? Really?? The BEST part of heaven is never having to stop to go to the bathroom?! I think the best part will be RESTING MY POOR BRAIN......if I have any left by then, that is. ;-)