Friday, January 27, 2012

Because who wants a 'normal' day?

Being a parent stretches you. There are days of sick children and no sleep. There are trips to the ER. There are 400 questions a day to answer and arguments to field and then finally, you utter the phrase you swore would never pass your lips: Because. I. Said. So.

Our cat has gone into heat. And it obvious. And all 3 girls are asking a billion questions each and half of what I say gets met with, "But why?" My tired brain struggles to explain why our cat is now acting possessed.

"Please make sure Ziggy (the 'hot cat') doesn't get out. We need to lock her in our bathroom while we bring in all the groceries."

Kids: "Why can't she get out?"

"Because she really wants to find a boyfriend and she isn't allowed."

Kids: "Why? Can't she have a boyfriend?"

"She really wants the boyfriend to help her get kittens in her tummy."

Kids: "How does the boyfriend help her have kittens in her belly?"

"Look! A unicorn! Who wants lunch? What time do you think Dad will get home? Wanna ride your bikes? Let's have ice cream!"

**later**

Kids: "Why is she making that noise? It sounds like she's crying."

"She's calling a boyfriend. If a boy cat hears that sound, he will want to come over and, uh, visit."

Kids: "How will she know it's her boyfriend? Will he tell her?"

"Um, I guess the first boy cat that shows up would be her boyfriend."

Kids: "Wow. They will fall in love that fast?!"

"Yes. Cats are special that way."

Kids: "How will they know they are in love?"

"Ummmmmm......"

Oldest Kid: "They know they're in love when little cute hearts are flying all around and their eyeballs will turn into hearts when they look at each other."

(I roll my eyes and think to myself that Jadyn has seen too many Tom and Jerry cartoons.)

Youngest Kid: "Mom, she sounds like she really really wants a boyfriend. Can't she have one? Please?"

"Over my dead body."

Currently, Ziggy is still 'calling'. Middle child is trying to imitate sound. Youngest announces every time Ziggy makes the noise, as if we can't hear it. Oldest looks out the window to see if boy cat can hear her thru the windows.

This will be a long few days.