Is there a fourth option?

Here seem to be my three choices for restroom use.

I can wear adult diapers and never actually GO to the bathroom, shut the door and do my thing. And that's not really an option, and I hope isn't an option til I'm about 95. So let's move on.

Option Two: I go, but a kid declares their need for me through a shut door. And by 'need', I mean they tell me their show is over, that they need to potty, that they are done with their juice, that someone did something to them or their things. Once I was told through a shut door that they had ''stopped sucking on their candy and were now chewing it''. It took everything in me not to scream "I DON'T CARE!" I'm petty sure I said it, but I managed not to yell. That time.

Option Three: I go, and have peace. I think I am in the clear and I am possibly at the point where my sitting on the toilet doesn't trigger an alarm in my kids heads announcing to them that they should drop what they are doing and come tell me whatever thought is in their head at that second. However, as soon as I come out of my room, I see why they didn't notice I was gone: they are beating the crap out of each other or are united together in sneakiness.

Today I came out and 2 out of 3 of my little angels were kicking and hitting each other. Over peanut butter. Yes, peanut butter. Luckily, no one was really hurt and it blew over pretty fast.

I'm estimating that I have maybe 4 more years of not being able to peacefully use the toilet. If my friends with older kids have the great news that it's probably LESS than 4 years, they are welcome to comment. If you have older kids and you are laughing at me because you know I'm in for MORE than 4 years, just keep it to yourself. Sometimes mommies tell themselves things to see an end in sight. Remove that hope at your own risk.

Just send chocolate.