UNO!

Sometimes silence means things are not going well. For me, at least in this case, it means that things have been going so well, I don't know where to start updating, LOL. Plus, we have been so busy, even on days we're just hanging around the house wearing out the UNO cards, by days end I am too pooped to blog.

K has gotten MUCH more relaxed and open around us. She is not as stiff and uncomfortable any more. She is walking around barefoot, calling dibs on the shower, trying to scare me and Gabe, asking for seconds, and laughing laughing laughing! Tiny things are making me happy-seeing her feel free to grab a throw blanket and snuggle down into a pillow to watch a movie, joking (even when she shouldn't be) and tiny things she is telling me about her home, all mean she is relaxing and trusting us.

She has told me some about her past and her family; it will just come out of no where and spill out. She tells me about her friends and what they like and don't like. She has told me some about her school. She is hugging me at night and holding my hand when we walk into stores. I love it. She is more reserved around Gabe, but she loves to watch him mow or grill, and she is def. ready to see him when he gets home. I see her watch the clock and listen for the garage door to open.

She has come soooooo far in the last 2 1/2 weeks. We only have til the 9th with her, and then she'll have to go home. I can't stand the thought of her leaving. I am glad we will be able to email and communicate that way. Meantime, we hope for a day when she can return.

I Tried to Explain the Tooth Fairy, but I think that got lost in translation.....

Most nights when K goes to bed, she will jump under the covers and pull them up to her chin and turn away from me and Ava. (She is sharing a room with my middle one and I have to sit with A to make her go to sleep.) When i try to hug her goodnight, she is stiff as a board. She won't acknowledge me or even say good night. Really, any touch towards her gets met with stiffness. I have tried to just do simple things to let her know we're not going to be rough or mean....mostly I pat her back or hand. At night, because she jumps into bed so fast after we pray together, I will kind of pat/scratch her arm and/or kiss the top of her head. I haven't actually tried to hug her goodnight in a few days since I sensed she was tense at night.

So tonight, she gets in bed and stays facing me as I walk across the room towards her. I hadn't planned on hugging her, but she reached out and initiated a nice hug and then said good night! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy, I tucked A in as fast as I could and then ran out to find Gabe to tell him.

We had an overall good day. Two of mine weren't so great, but by the afternoon, all was well. K jumped in and helped my oldest clean her room. (And I mean, they CLEANED it. Under the bed, under the mattress {which is another story in itself} and the closet.) J has embraced K and told me she likes having K as an older sister; she thinks she is fun! They even came to the table holding hands. Then we all had a silly evening playing Wii bowling. There was lots of laughing and smack talking. Every time Gabe does something funny, she calls him Mr Bean, and then dies laughing.

She is showing her dare devil side too, and I think if and when we have issues, it will probably be from that. She is really compliant and helpful otherwise. Oh, and she talked a lot today too. Lots. Gabe all of a sudden at dinner demonstrated some new Russian words he had learned from a guy he works with (whose wife is Russian) and that brought lots of giggles too.

Too bad she couldn't follow his story of a bug literally jumping in his throat while he was out watering the tomatoes.....

Jalapenos, anyone?

So tomorrow marks one week of having K here. She is still pretty shy, but there are times where we see the funny, bouncy child she really is. (If you play Uno with her, she is very good and will be funny and sassy while she is beating you!)

She is veeeeerryyyy slowly starting to talk more. Over today, we got 3 whole sentences out of her. "In L-tvia, I swim in (insert word for lake/pool/river/creek here)." Then she said it in R-ssian AND L-tvian in an attempt to help me know what she meant. She also was teasing Jadyn after playing the Wii and said "I am winner. You is loser." Then giggled when Jadyn said it back to her. She has the best laugh. Ever. The End. It's like sun is shining in my living room when she laughs. I love it.  (There are some moments I literally ache for her to have more confidence!)

Yesterday we went to church. She went into class with Jadyn, and J said she did fine in there. She is very well behaved, so I wasn't worried, I just didn't want her to be completely overwhelmed. Apparently, she wasn't, lol. She even did the motions to the songs they sang.

One of our friends is a fireman, so we went to his station mid afternoon and he showed the girls the trucks and equipment and then let the kids get in the fire truck. That was pretty neat. Hadley (3) asked what would happen if she touched the fire truck. She had such awe in her voice; it was cute!

Then the cap on our weekend was going to the Laser Show at Stone Mountain. We met up with friends who are also hosting, and had a great time. K had fun with their girl (also L-tvian) and ate and laughed and ran so much, I'm amazed she didn't throw up, LOL.

Today we went to a lake near us that has a white sand beach. She was in heaven. And she didn't sunburn. She was pretty sedate the rest of the day...guess it all finally caught up with her. She was happy to hear we're going again soon.

One more crazy thing.....typically, these kids don't like spicy foods. They like sweet, salty and creamy, but not hot. Gabe was eating a *shudder* pickled jalapeno and saw K was eyeing it. He made sure she knew it would be HOT and she said, "Yes. Okay." and popped a piece in her mouth and nodded in approval. Then she ate more. Didn't sweat or flinch. Amazing. I think they bonded. Pretty sure she is the only L-tvian to enjoy and eat more of those! I'm still shaking my head!!!

She really loves Mr Bean!

I finally have a second to update some of this week's details. I have tried to post updates on FB, but it's hard to get all the details on there.

K arrived Tues night and I was a bit worried bc she only took a few sips of water in the van and didn't want to eat dinner. Once we finally got home, she perked up at the cat and very clearly said, "I like cat!" Then she went to bed. She (well, all the kids) went to bed a little after 9 and I had to wake her up at 9:45 the next morning. There is a 7 (I think) hour time difference, plus travelling for 20-something hours, and you can imagine how tired she was. I hated to wake her up!

Once awake, she got dressed and then sat on her bed working on mazes and looking at books. I tried to lure her out with breakfast, but she didn't want to eat anything. She did gulp down some milk, and then went straight back to her room. She was so quiet, the kids were being quiet! I knew she needed a swimsuit, but I had wanted to wait a day or two before we went to a store, since sometimes that can be overwhelming. But since she wouldn't come out, I figured if I got us all out of the house, she'd HAVE to come out. So I told her 'machina' (Russian for car) and she nodded and got her shoes. We just went in to Target and I gave her 2 swimsuits to choose from, and she held hands with Ava and/or Jadyn the whole time. Once we got home, it was lunch time (which she did eat) and then we all watched a movie. She wowed the kids with her crazy jump rope skills and demonstrated how she can stand on her head (with no wall). They thought she was awesome.

My mom, sister, and her two little kids came over for a bit. We had baked brownies earlier, so we all enjoyed those. After they all left, Jadyn got really upset because she forgot to give my sister a card she had made, and K was very concerned that she was crying so hard. She patted her head and stood there with us, til she stopped crying. It was sweet.

Thursday I had promised that we would go swimming. Then of course, it rained. All day. So we hung out at the house and played games and hung around. She was still being really quiet, but she wasn't in her room all the time. We did venture out to a friend's house to pick blueberries. She was a trooper picking in the drizzle and ate so many, I thought she might be sick later. That was our big entertainment for the day til Gabe got home and set up the Wii. That helped her come out of her shell a tiny bit more.

Today we went one way to meet a friend and take his Russian speaking daughter with us to go the opposit way to the eye doctor. {K for some reason did not bring her glasses. She said she forgot, you can tell she really needed them, so maybe she was trying to be 'cool' and not have glasses? Who knows.} She quickly picked out 2 frames (they had a good deal for 2 sets and an exam) and then we had the exam. There were moments it was comical. The teen that was with us has been in America since March '10, so she was still alittle shaky on a few English words. But she did great. K was terrified and stiff and Z stayed calm the whole time, even though it had to have been awkward and stressful at times. I still had my three kids there, but they all love Z, so they enjoyed reading to her and sitting in her lap. Z stayed very calm with them and helped me keep them in line. Plus, she was great company for me. She was easy to talk to. She's very funny and helped keep everything 'light'. It was nice to be able to ask K what she thought of things and what her favorite color is and that sort of thing.....She was SO relieved when we got out of there, though. She was very cooperative, but you could tell she was scared and stiff.

Gabe picked the glasses up on his way home and she was very excited when he got home. She gave us hugs and said thanks to each of us. Then she got all nervous and put them away, and I said, "Uh? K! Glasses!" and laughed and she got the purple ones out and put them on. She was shaking, and after the initial telling her how good she looked, I was glad the kids didn't say anything else and we just had dinner as usual.

There was about an hour this afternoon where she was talking and running around with the kids and using English and Russian and laughing a lot. I hope I see that side of her more often. You can tell she has no confidence at ALL. She keeps her face blank and eyes down a lot of the time. It's very sad. She is also very artistic, and enjoys crafts- even playdoh and coloring. We are trying to constantly encourage her at every turn.

Tomorrow will be the first full day Gabe has been home since K arrived. She doesn't seem to fear him, or hate men like so many girls in her situation do, and that has been a relief. Oh, and tonight she showered without being told and her clothes from today went into the hamper instead of back in the drawer. I have learned that the simple act of putting clothes in the hamper is a huge act of trust in most cases. In most orphanages, they have shared clothes. So if you like something, you don't take it off. You wash it in the sink at night, if at all. I took some of her dirty clothes out of her drawer and washed them and returned them before she knew they were gone (I think) a couple of hours later. I wanted to SHOW her that I can be trusted....that I wasn't going to give her clothes to one of mine; that her things were her things and I would really give them back. Clean, even. So when I saw her clothes in the hamper, I had a tiny party in my heart.

It's only been 3 days. There is generally a 'honeymoon' period and then the tantrums or defiance can/will start. But I feel like we have covered a lot of ground for 3 days, even though there is so much more to go! Please keep praying, for her and for us and for the girls. There are good things happening, big and little, and it's been great to watch it all.

The 'A' Word

Some pretty encouraging things happened this weekend as far as hosting K goes. An acquaintance of mine mailed us a check to go towards taking K to the game ranch and Monkey Joes (the 2 activities that I mentioned in my last post). It was very sweet and we are very grateful! The second thing was a friend from church walked up to me yesterday and asked if I needed anything for K by the time she gets here Tues. When asked out right, I really do have a hard time accepting help. I generally don't even let the baggers at Publix take my groceries out..."I got it" is what I tell them....even if I don't. So it was hard on my behalf to say "pajamas". And then this sweet lady said she would take care of the pjs and make sure we had them by Tuesday. Relief and gratitude washed thru me.

Later today, I will go to Walmart and use a gift card another friend gave me to get last minute groceries and possibly some underware for her. My mom donated all the toiletries that K will need. Things are coming together, and it's exciting to watch God provide what we need. We couldn't MAKE this stuff happen- it's all God's hand on K's behalf.

Another quick note that I need to mention: please please please do NOT mention the word 'adoption' anywhere near K. She is unavailable for adoption currently and if she hears the word, she might get her hopes up. She speaks pretty good English, and even the ones that don't know that word. I have one friend that refers to that as the 'a' word, lol.

Say a quick prayer today as she travels to us! I'll post pics tomorrow night after we get her!!!

The Time Aproaches~

We are less than a week away from picking 'K' up at the airport. We set up her bed, washed her sheets and cleaned out a drawer for her. I set her alarm clock, plugged in her lamp and started cleaning. I'm not sure she'll care that I washed out the fridge and cleaned the vents, but she might ;-)

Some people, when they host, fear the language barrier. Some people fear they won't like the food that their family normally eats. This is our third hosting, and I don't fear those things. At least not much. I'll stock up on chicken, Ramen noodles, chips, fruit, potatoes, cucumbers and tomatoes. Surely K will like something we have, right? And I hear she speaks okay English, but even if she didn't, I have had amazing talks with people via the computer translator and charades.

Honestly, my biggest fear is her being bored. We can all remember being kids and being at some one's home for a few days and once there is nothing to do- anything can happen. Homesickness to hyperactivity. The last 2 summers I have kept us moving and going places. This year, our budget is so tight you can hear it squeak and I won't be able to do that. I really want to take her to Monkey Joes and I really want to take her to a game ranch nearby where you can pet and feed all kinds of animals. I'm praying I can do both. At the very least we will be able to swim at the lake quite a bit. I'm praying she likes to swim.

My other concern is one I can't quite put words around. I want to make sure she sees God in our family and knows that Jesus loves her and has a plan for her life. Even though everyone else has quit on her, He will never quit. My prayer is that we can show her that in 100 different ways while she is here. I know her history, and it's painful and harsh and too much for an 11 year old. I pray we can begin to touch her heart and set her on the right road. The road where she doesn't become like her parents, or those around her, but a woman who has a purpose and a hope and does good things for others.

This is a prayer someone posted on a pic of her before we agreed to host her (or even knew she COULD be hosted):

"Father God cover K that what Satan would try to use in that pain and betrayal you would claim your glory..that all of it would be used and that this child would not remain in that hurt but cling to you while you carry her from it. May she rise up a God fearing woman that knows your love. May you send her rescue now Lord, a woman that will share you with her! Claiming her life for you Lord!! Amen"

Please pray that our family can be her 'rescue'.

On a slightly different note, but just as serious, there is a sight called Reeces Rainbow. Many of you have heard of it. It has pictures and short bios on children in other countries that are waiting to be adopted. These kids are special needs kids; some have FAS, some have Downs Syndrome or CP or HIV. Some are barely affected and others have horrible health problems. These are the unwanted of the unwanted. Time for these kids is short, because after they turn 5, they are moved from 'baby houses' to 'adult houses' where they spend their days drugged, under fed, and strapped to their beds sitting in the one diaper they get for the day. Sounds too awful to be true, yet it is. 85% of these kids die in the first year after they are transferred out of the baby homes.

This sight has matched so many kids to their forever families.

Today, a cutie pie with Downs Syndrome died without a family. He was so cute and when I saw the fwds saying he had passed, I cried. He was almost 3 and deserved a family. He probably died of something that a family and proper medical attention could have prevented.

People debate about helping kids in other countries before we help our own. That's like saying that missionaries have no business going to other countries until everyone in America is a Christian.  A life is a life, whether they have a disease or not and whether they are overseas or not. Children are dying while people do nothing. People are stalling around waiting for a convenient time to adopt and children die with no family. You can't look at this sweet face and not be moved.

 Pick someone to help and do it. For Warner. For Ksenija.