Friday, May 10, 2013

Bitter- table for one

I have been posting a lot of links and such the last several weeks. They have (mostly) been with regard to the Gosnell trial, sexual abuse awareness and it's mishandling in the "Christian" community, abuse in the name of discipline, and home schooling. I've gotten interesting responses to several of those 'rabbit trails', some good, some bad.

I'm hoping there were eyes opened as a result of the links I shared, but I have no real idea. And that's okay.

The home school stories however, apparently really anger people. Which is not my goal. My goal is to make people aware of what is going on outside our bubble, and make those of us that *do* home school maybe, just maybe, raise our bars and make sure we don't fall in the same holes as those that have gone before us.

I was home schooled 3rd thru 12th grade. Then I taught in Christian schools. Then I home schooled my own three. I sort of felt like someone who has been-there-done-that, therefore was maybe, just maybe, slightly more knowledgeable than the 'average ranter' on any random blog. Instead, I have been labeled as bitter, disillusioned, and accused of slander, generalizations, and throwing the baby out with the bathwater- all on more than one occasion. (Side note about the bathwater, I shouldn't throw homeschooling out with the bathwater, but it's okay if they throw out public schools with the bathwater.) I even was told to stick to being funny.

If you are doing a good job teaching your children, I applaud you. I have lots of friends that home school, and as far as I know and can tell, they do a great job. Nothing I have said about poor home schooling has been specifically aimed at anyone. But I'm not in every house 24/7, and it's not my job to police you. That's YOUR job, as the home schooling parent.

What I saw growing up in the home schooling subculture- if you will- was fear of government, perfect families on parade at conferences, people who twist scripture to control their wives and children, and the occasional mother who burned out and probably should have put their child in school, but didn't. There was, at that time, probably still now to a degree, a lot of pressure not to quit or give up on home schooling. There might still be, but I cannot deal with being in a home school group, so I'm rouge and therefore not subjected to that kind of pressure. (I only went to one meeting and almost couldn't breath the entire time.)

Since there are very few regulations on home schooling, home schooling families generally don't get 'busted' like public school teachers/systems do. Which then makes schools look bad and home schooling look like the safest option. Therefore, us first generation home schoolers grow up, find our voices, and write blogs or 'rant' on Facebook. Like it or not, there IS A REASON there are home school 'survivor' blogs and groups. The reasons are many, but the biggest reason (as I can tell) is that we had no voice as children/teens but we're darn sure going to speak now because NOT everyone who home schools SHOULD home school.

(And then we get labeled and dismissed.)

You can tell yourself what you want. You can block me (as some have). You can ignore what's going on. I'm not bitter- I was raised the best my parents knew how at the time (I say that because I'm sure from convos that we've had they would redo certain parts). I can't undo any portion of how I was brought up, I can only learn from it. I can copy what worked and toss the rest. I can warn of pitfalls and try and make you see from a different perspective. I'm very thankful for various blogs and friends, because I, personally, have learned a lot. Iron sharpening iron, that sort of thing. What works for one, doesn't work for all. It can't! We're too different and we're all constantly changing and growing and (hopefully) maturing.

I'm hopeful this has made some of you see where I am coming from. I'm hoping this has cleared up a few things. I'm hoping that maybe some of you will be less ticked at me. I am NOT against home schooling. Even though I will be putting my three in public school this next school year, we might circle back to home schooling. We see education as a year by year decision. "What do our kids need at this stage?" is what we ask ourselves. I only know a few others who do that, and I know that makes us seem strange. Well, strangER, and that's okay. We don't parent for points or popularity or as a result of peer pressure, we parent for our kids.


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