Ok. I need to rant. And if this post annoys you, then I'm sorry, but I really need to say this. And this really has nothing to do with our fundraiser other than the topic is orphans.
I really had not thought much about fostering or adopting up until a few years ago. I looked at adoption as a way that infertile couples got their children. I worked with a lady about 9 years ago who was a foster mom. And a pretty awesome one at that. That started my wheels turning. There were a few other things that made me think, "Well, one day I will foster or adopt" but it generally revolved around if I could not have children.
But I can have children and I now have three. They are 6, 5 and 3 1/2. And in 2008 we heard about internationally hosting an orphan. I took a "I'm going to wait and see how THIS goes" approach. I honestly thought the whole thing was kind of weird and Gee, they were going to have to send that poor little boy back to his Russian orphanage. That hardly seems fair to him. I have even had people say that to me about the ones we have hosted, and they have used it as a reason for them not to host.
"I can't do that. It just seems so unfair."
Unfair.
Let's talk about unfair. Unfair is not having a mom to rock you at night, or mend your clothes, or help you with homework. Unfair is a dad that leaves your family, or beats you, or dies right infront of you because he is POISENED by his boss when they can no longer pay him (that really happened, by the way). Unfair is watching your drunk mother chose to buy more alchohol instead of paying for your home to be heated, and watch her do nothing as you and your brother are carted away to a orphange, and then she keeps doing nothing for the next 4 1/2 years while you wait for her everyday. Unfair is knowing she died never coming to see you and you never get to say goodbye or even go to her funeral. Unfair is being brought before a possible adoptive family and they reject you because you are 'too ugly'. Unfair is going to bed hungry and scared and sad and NO ONE to care. Unfair is being picked on at school because you're an orphan and having the teacher look the other way instead of help. Unfair is being brainwashed and told you're worthless. Unfair is literally being dumped on the streets when you're 16 and being left on your own. It's no wonder so many take their own lives or turn to drugs and repeat the cycle.
And it's unfair that once you are older than 5, you have an almost ZERO chance of getting adopted.
These kids have already dealt with more unfair than most of our brains can comprehend. Once these kids come over and are hosted, they have an almost 70% chance of being adopted. People don't want older kids because they are more intimidating, too hard to 'train' or come with too much baggage. But when people actually MEET these kids, those misconceptions fade. They can see the children for what they are- children.
When I heard that the statics go from almost nothing to an almost 70% chance at getting a family, I knew I had to host. Gabe agreed. I HAD to give someone that chance; I had to fight for them. If it were MY child, I would want someone to fight for them if I couldn't. They deserve it. They can't fight for themselves; they have no voice; they have no real options. They need US to advocate for them.
It's expensive. It's inconvient. It's exhausting. It's uncomfortable. But it's not about us- not even a little bit. It's about them and showing them the love of a Father that will never leave them or forsake them. There's a lot of great things too- it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, for starters. I love loving kids that have no one to love them. And I can't wait to hug Alina this summer, either. I hope she comes ready to be bear hugged to the moon and back.
So if you're one of the ones that want to host, but you just think "it's just not fair to the child", PLEASE think again. YOU might be the one to turn that child's life around!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Oh Sleep, Where Art Thou?
I have blogged before about my challenging child. One of the things that makes her challenging is her sleep. When she was a baby, I could put her in her crib with her paci, and there wasn't much of an issue getting her to go to sleep. Even if she was awake for awhile, she was mostly quiet. She didn't like to be rocked- she just wanted to be put down and left alone.
Fast forward a couple of years to the arrival of her 'big girl' bed. No more paci, but she usually went to sleep OK. Sometimes she would get books to look at, or play with her baby dolls. Several nights we would go in to check on her only to find she had laid out her shoes or pull ups in straight lines. One night she even lined up her toy chairs and doll furniture.
Now let's skip to the fateful day we moved her into a different bedroom with her older sister complete with bunk beds. That's really the moment the bedtime nightmare began. She cried for nights (and by cried and mean LOUDLY and with GREAT EMOTIONAL FORCE and EXUBERANCE) proclaiming her hate of the new beds and sheets and room and roommate. I kept thinking she was being silly and would get over it. I didn't know then what change does to that kind of child, and it was probably akin to torture for her. In hindsight, I wish I had moved her back and let the littlest sister room with my first born. But I really did think she would get over it, and I sat with her every night while she cried and cried til she went to sleep.
Then somehow it went from crying about the room, to crying was how she released the day's stresses. Still I sat with her. By now several months had gone by. Now adding to the dilemma was that it was lighter outside til way later than 'normal' so it was harder for her to go to sleep. And so here we are, three years later, and I still sit with her every single night because her brain will not turn itself off willingly. And even if her brain is tired, it's not telling her body and there are lots of twitches and itches and wiggles.
There is something called compression therapy (at least I thought that was what it was called til I just Googled it and found nothing in the first 3 pages....) where children with Autism, Aspergers, Sensory Processing Disorders (and other things, I'm assuming) need compression to relax. Think a specially made heavy blanket or a big bear hug or, in my case with Ava, I lay my arms and legs over her to hold her down and keep her still long enough to realize she's tired and her brain can turn itself and her body off. Some nights she'll let me do that, other nights I can squeeze the palm of her hand and it will be enough to relax her.
I am finding though, the older she gets, the trickier it is to get her to sleep. And she won't stay asleep. Sometime between 12 and 4 am she will get in bed with me. Once that involved her trying to get me to get up and start the day. Now, thank the Lord, she will just quietly lay down next to me....at least 3 out of 4 times. The other time she will just want an escort to the bathroom (and I don't really mind that).
So last night I started giving her Melatonin. She went to sleep GREAT. But was up by 12 and then really didn't sleep much the rest of the night. I know this bc I didn't sleep much the rest of the night. So tonight I gave her a slightly higher dose, and we'll see what that does. She went to sleep GREAT again, but I need her to stay asleep.
I would also NOT be surprised if she struggled with Restless Leg Syndrome. I actually had RLS my last pregnancy and anyone who has that has my utmost pity. There are meds for that, but I just want to deal with one thing at a time. If the Melatonin will take care of the sleep situation for now, I'll just stick with that. Also, if anyone has any thoughts or advice, I'll take that too. (Unless you're going to suggest Bendryl, in which case I will punch you in the face. Not really. But still: don't.)
Fast forward a couple of years to the arrival of her 'big girl' bed. No more paci, but she usually went to sleep OK. Sometimes she would get books to look at, or play with her baby dolls. Several nights we would go in to check on her only to find she had laid out her shoes or pull ups in straight lines. One night she even lined up her toy chairs and doll furniture.
Now let's skip to the fateful day we moved her into a different bedroom with her older sister complete with bunk beds. That's really the moment the bedtime nightmare began. She cried for nights (and by cried and mean LOUDLY and with GREAT EMOTIONAL FORCE and EXUBERANCE) proclaiming her hate of the new beds and sheets and room and roommate. I kept thinking she was being silly and would get over it. I didn't know then what change does to that kind of child, and it was probably akin to torture for her. In hindsight, I wish I had moved her back and let the littlest sister room with my first born. But I really did think she would get over it, and I sat with her every night while she cried and cried til she went to sleep.
Then somehow it went from crying about the room, to crying was how she released the day's stresses. Still I sat with her. By now several months had gone by. Now adding to the dilemma was that it was lighter outside til way later than 'normal' so it was harder for her to go to sleep. And so here we are, three years later, and I still sit with her every single night because her brain will not turn itself off willingly. And even if her brain is tired, it's not telling her body and there are lots of twitches and itches and wiggles.
There is something called compression therapy (at least I thought that was what it was called til I just Googled it and found nothing in the first 3 pages....) where children with Autism, Aspergers, Sensory Processing Disorders (and other things, I'm assuming) need compression to relax. Think a specially made heavy blanket or a big bear hug or, in my case with Ava, I lay my arms and legs over her to hold her down and keep her still long enough to realize she's tired and her brain can turn itself and her body off. Some nights she'll let me do that, other nights I can squeeze the palm of her hand and it will be enough to relax her.
I am finding though, the older she gets, the trickier it is to get her to sleep. And she won't stay asleep. Sometime between 12 and 4 am she will get in bed with me. Once that involved her trying to get me to get up and start the day. Now, thank the Lord, she will just quietly lay down next to me....at least 3 out of 4 times. The other time she will just want an escort to the bathroom (and I don't really mind that).
So last night I started giving her Melatonin. She went to sleep GREAT. But was up by 12 and then really didn't sleep much the rest of the night. I know this bc I didn't sleep much the rest of the night. So tonight I gave her a slightly higher dose, and we'll see what that does. She went to sleep GREAT again, but I need her to stay asleep.
I would also NOT be surprised if she struggled with Restless Leg Syndrome. I actually had RLS my last pregnancy and anyone who has that has my utmost pity. There are meds for that, but I just want to deal with one thing at a time. If the Melatonin will take care of the sleep situation for now, I'll just stick with that. Also, if anyone has any thoughts or advice, I'll take that too. (Unless you're going to suggest Bendryl, in which case I will punch you in the face. Not really. But still: don't.)
 |
| Sure she's cute, but she will keep you up. All. Night. Long. |
Friday, March 18, 2011
Give Away Update!
***UPDATE***
We are extending the giveaway through April 6 at 11:59 PM. We wanted to extend the giveaway to allow more people time to participate and because Craig (one half of the couple that we are doing this giveaway with) will be leaving for Latvia next week and returning April 5. We wanted to allow enough time for him to be able to be back in time for the drawing.
Thank you to everyone who has donated so far and for everyone who is sharing our giveaway with others. We also are very grateful for the prayers! God is doing some really amazing things and I am so excited to continue to watch Him work!
Make sure you are commenting ON our blog to get credit for reposting or tweeting. Even if you can't give, reposting and telling us still gets you one entry.
I am always amazed at people's generosity when we do fundraising for hosting . Strangers, aquaintances, good friends, families dealing with unemployment, and people who literally have every reason to NOT give that DO all touch me in deep ways. Every notification of a donation or seeing someone repost the blog link makes me smile and say THANK YOU, LORD! for the family that they represent.
God bless each of you!
To see the ORIGINAL GIVEAWAY POST click HERE.
We are extending the giveaway through April 6 at 11:59 PM. We wanted to extend the giveaway to allow more people time to participate and because Craig (one half of the couple that we are doing this giveaway with) will be leaving for Latvia next week and returning April 5. We wanted to allow enough time for him to be able to be back in time for the drawing.
Thank you to everyone who has donated so far and for everyone who is sharing our giveaway with others. We also are very grateful for the prayers! God is doing some really amazing things and I am so excited to continue to watch Him work!
Make sure you are commenting ON our blog to get credit for reposting or tweeting. Even if you can't give, reposting and telling us still gets you one entry.
I am always amazed at people's generosity when we do fundraising for hosting . Strangers, aquaintances, good friends, families dealing with unemployment, and people who literally have every reason to NOT give that DO all touch me in deep ways. Every notification of a donation or seeing someone repost the blog link makes me smile and say THANK YOU, LORD! for the family that they represent.
God bless each of you!
To see the ORIGINAL GIVEAWAY POST click HERE.
Friday, March 11, 2011
"A Future and A Hope Giveaway"
***UPDATE***
We are extending the giveaway through April 6 at 11:59 PM
Read more about that HERE
Jeremiah 29:11“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”
A future and a hope.
That is what we hope to give to the orphans who come into our home through hosting. We can do this by not only sharing our love with them, but by showing them who Christ is and letting Him show them His love.
By bringing these children into our families, even for a short time, it allows them to catch a glimpse of what family life should be like.
Loving.
Forgiving.
Caring.
Helpful.
Always there for each other – in the good times and the tough times.
These are things they have not seen. Things they do not know. Things they deserve to experience - doesn’t everyone?
By bringing these children into our families, even for a short time, it allows them to catch a glimpse of what Jesus is like and who He is.
Loving.
Forgiving.
Caring.
Helpful.
Always there for them - in the good times and the tough times.
This is something they have not seen. Something they do not know. Something they deserve to experience - doesn’t everyone?
When they have experienced these things, even if they do not get adopted, they have something to cling to while in the orphanage and after they age out. (Most in Latvia age out around 18 or 19.) When an orphan ages out of the system, they are quite literally on their own. They need to fend for themselves—find a job, a place to live, learn how to cook, clean, have real relationships with others. They need to learn commitment in relationships and how to be a parent. Yet, how can they know how to do these things if they have never been given the opportunity to see these things being done?
Statistics show that the majority of them don’t learn these things. For these children, the reality will most likely be unthinkable to most of us.
A job? Prostitution. Selling drugs (and using them). Stealing.
A place to live? The streets. Sewers, to stay warm.
Cooking? Searching through trash for food. Stealing. Begging.
Cleaning? Well, they wouldn’t own anything to clean.
Relationships? Surface ones, maybe.
Parenting? Often, babies and children are given up or taken away from adults who were once orphans thus continuing a vicious cycle.
There is no hope in the above statements, yet they are a reality for a majority of the kids who age out of the system having never experienced anything different. Some even turn to suicide as a way out. We want to offer HOPE. We want to offer LIFE.
James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Hosting is just one way to look after orphans. It is one of the ways we have chosen to share the gospel with others. Knowing that these kids will learn of Christ and that they could choose to KNOW Christ is the reason we do this. Anything else that comes out of it is just a bonus!
So, that is why we host.
And we need your help, so it’s time for a giveaway!
The Reed’s and the Helf’s are teaming up to raise the needed funds to bring 3 children to their homes for the summer. The Reed’s are bringing an adorable 11 year old girl.
(Picture coming Soon!)
The Helf’s are bringing a 14 year old girl and her 5 year old brother.
Hosting costs approximately $2500 per child due to airfare costs and other costs such as passports, visas, etc. So for these 3 children, it will cost $7500 just to get them here. We also have to provide them with clothing, shoes, food, etc while they are living with us for 5 weeks.
We are asking for your help with the initial expenses and have a great opportunity for you to win some fantastic prizes for your help!
*If you’ve been drooling over the new iPad2 that is coming out in a couple of days, here is your chance to win it! (Only 1 (one) iPad2 up for grabs!)
Valued at $499 (the 16 GB, wi-fi version), the latest and greatest model of this coveted item will not be available to even buy until tomorrow. You could be among the first of your friends to have it! Everything great about the original iPad but upgraded to include things like a webcam and it is now even thinner and lighter!
*We will also be giving away a $75 gift card to Kohl’s.
(Just a sample image of card)
Kohl’s has so many great items, from clothes to toys and other kitchen and household items! You can also shop online and have it shipped to you!
Kohl’s has so many great items, from clothes to toys and other kitchen and household items! You can also shop online and have it shipped to you!
The Princess Collection
*Emily at Doodlebug Boutique has graciously donated a set of beautiful hair clips! This is the Princess collection. Each clippie is handmade out of bright grosgrain ribbon onto an alligator clip and accented with a 'jewel'. This collection features Snow White, Ariel, Tinker Bell, Cinderella, Aurora and Belle and has a 'no slip' strip added to help it stay in place.
*$20 in gift cards to Amazon.com!(Not actual card.)
You can buy just about anything from this online store!
You can buy just about anything from this online store!
***Okay, here is how you enter to win! First, click on the Paypal button on the top right hand corner of the blog and donate. Each $10 donation gets you one entry. So a donation of $50, earns you 5 entries. $100 earns you 10 entries and so on. AFTER you have donated, you can earn additional entries by doing the following:
*Sign up to follow this blog and leave a comment below saying you are now following. If you have already signed up, just leave a comment saying that you have previously signed up.
*Post about this giveaway with a link back to our post on your Facebook account and leave a comment below saying that you did.
*Tweet about this giveaway with a link back to our post on your Twitter account and leave a comment below saying that you did.
*Blog about this giveaway with a link back to our post on your blog and leave a comment (and the link to YOUR blog) below saying that you did.
So there you have it. Each $10 donation you give, earns you an entry into the giveaway and after you’ve donated, you can earn even more entries by telling others about it! Spread the word! Tell every single person you know about this giveaway. You could literally save a child’s life with your donations!! And hey—you have a great chance at winning some really cool prizes as well. But don’t just give to win something. Give because you want to change a child’s life! Give because you want to save a child from the bleak future that is described above. Give because you want to see another life yanked from Satan’s hands and embraced in the loving arms of Jesus!!
Thank you!!!
In Christ,
Craig and Brooke Helf
Gabe and Kim Reed
Craig and Brooke Helf
Gabe and Kim Reed
Details: Giveaway runs from now until Sunday, March 20 at 11:59PM EST. After that time, entries will not be accepted. We will have Random.org draw winners for the prizes and the winners will be announced on Monday, March 21 at noon EST. Check back for updates and the possibility of additional prizes being added to the giveaway. We hope to raise well over the $7500 needed for hosting our 3 children! Any additional funds will be used to help other children being hosted or adopted.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Lions and Tigers and Panda Bears, Oh My!
Today we went to the zoo with a friend that was savvy enough to buy a family pass. Since her family is (currently) smaller than the people that can get in on the pass, she takes different friends with her. Today was our chance, and I think it was the most fun I have had at the zoo in ages.
First off, it was cool. Usually we go when it's already hot. Today was a cloudy 62 degrees, and it was great. There were no school groups or daycare groups to try and avoid. In fact, it was as empty as I have seen it! Lots of times if you go, the animals won't be out or active, but I guess it was the cooler weather- they were all pretty active.
I think the best thing for me was that the kids were old enough to enjoy it. It held their attention (mostly) and there was minimal whining about hunger and thirst (but that may have been because it wasn't 800 degrees). And the SUPER BEST thing? They can all potty on their own. I still help my 3 year old, just so she doesn't clean the floor of the stall with her pants or fall in the toilet (bc that's happened before too), but the other 2 I just pointed at the empty stalls and told them to go for it. (Public bathrooms by the way, GROSS ME OUT to the MAX. But skin washes, so I just try not to think about it and then pop them in the bath as soon as we get home.) It was great. So much easier than one or two in diapers and one to help potty. Or like last spring when I had to help all three pee. Not because they all needed help, but because they had all recently been traumatized by thetoilets from Hell an automatic flush toilet and refused to urinate without me in there.
Here's a recap:
Jadyn's favorite: Panda. And watching the elephant poop.
Ava's favorite: Reptile House. And watching the elephant poop.
Hadley's favorite: Birds. And watching the elephant poop.
Mom's favorite: Kids who pee alone. And watching the kids watch the elephant poop.
First off, it was cool. Usually we go when it's already hot. Today was a cloudy 62 degrees, and it was great. There were no school groups or daycare groups to try and avoid. In fact, it was as empty as I have seen it! Lots of times if you go, the animals won't be out or active, but I guess it was the cooler weather- they were all pretty active.
I think the best thing for me was that the kids were old enough to enjoy it. It held their attention (mostly) and there was minimal whining about hunger and thirst (but that may have been because it wasn't 800 degrees). And the SUPER BEST thing? They can all potty on their own. I still help my 3 year old, just so she doesn't clean the floor of the stall with her pants or fall in the toilet (bc that's happened before too), but the other 2 I just pointed at the empty stalls and told them to go for it. (Public bathrooms by the way, GROSS ME OUT to the MAX. But skin washes, so I just try not to think about it and then pop them in the bath as soon as we get home.) It was great. So much easier than one or two in diapers and one to help potty. Or like last spring when I had to help all three pee. Not because they all needed help, but because they had all recently been traumatized by the
Here's a recap:
Jadyn's favorite: Panda. And watching the elephant poop.
Ava's favorite: Reptile House. And watching the elephant poop.
Hadley's favorite: Birds. And watching the elephant poop.
Mom's favorite: Kids who pee alone. And watching the kids watch the elephant poop.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Hopefully~~~
Hopefully by the end of this week, Gabe and I will have the details finalized for a fundraiser. (This would be fundraising to host Alina from Latvia.) It will be an awesome give away with multiple things to win and multiple ways to enter! I was SO excited about this last night, it took me forever to fall asleep.
Stay tuned for details!!!!
Stay tuned for details!!!!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Summer Plans are in the Making
For the past two summers, we have hosted orphans in our home. We have prayed long and hard about a 'three-peat', and we both felt God saying to go for it. Specifically for the girl pictured above. Her name is Alina: she is from Latvia and she is 11 yrs old. We are hosting this time thru Simple Obedience Ministries, and they only work with Latvian orphans. They are hoping to bring about 25 or so kids here this summer, and 2 are being hosted by friends of ours from church (which is actually how we heard about this other hosting program.)
The kids all cheered when I told them we were hosting again, and got really excited when I showed them this picture. (I think it was a plus for them that she was holding Barbies, LOL) Jadyn even suggested we look at yardsales to try and get a couple of more Barbies to make sure there was enough for everyone to play!
I am not sure how we are going to fundraise, and at this point I am not super sure how we are going to fit her in the 'playroom', but I know this: we are excited, and we are nervous, and we are sure this is what we should do this summer.
And while I am excited for Alina, there are other kids waiting for families to host them this summer, so I am including the website so you can go look, pray, and see what you can do.
Simple Obedience- click here
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
5 Quick Takes
*My oldest daughter has 3 loose teeth. Two of them are the top front ones. And one of those is so loose it is dangling by a thread and is SO GROSS and she will not let us pull it, nor will she pull it out herself. A few days ago I wrestled her to the ground in a head lock to try to grab it and yank. I have claw marks on my arm, and the tooth is still staring at me every time she smiles. So I have resorted to 'accidentally' knocking her in the mouth. Not with anything that can hurt, but with pillows and a roll of paper towels. So far, nothing. Stay tuned. Also? I think she's on to that trick......
*For some reason, my middle daughter has decided to wear socks with her sandals. I guess she's channeling her inner European. And it might not be so bad if it weren't red and yellow striped monkey socks with bright pink sandals. So far I have managed to contain this fashion to the backyard. I don't think my kids have to look like total fashion models when they leave the house, but there are a few things I draw the line at. Things need to match, hair needs to be at least brushed and now I can add no socks and sandals to the list. Yay me.
*I have discovered the hilarity that is "Park and Recreation" on Netflix/NBC. Watch at least 3 to get the formula, but you may be hooked before that. Very funny!
*I sincerely wish there was a diet that involved eating peanuts/cashews and drinking coffee. Pretty sure that's a diet plan I could stick with.
*I had a slipcover on an armchair that would NOT stay put. (The slipcover, not the chair, LOL). Guess what keeps it in place now? Barbells. I wedged them behind the seat cushion at the corners. I am inventive if nothing else.....
*For some reason, my middle daughter has decided to wear socks with her sandals. I guess she's channeling her inner European. And it might not be so bad if it weren't red and yellow striped monkey socks with bright pink sandals. So far I have managed to contain this fashion to the backyard. I don't think my kids have to look like total fashion models when they leave the house, but there are a few things I draw the line at. Things need to match, hair needs to be at least brushed and now I can add no socks and sandals to the list. Yay me.
*I have discovered the hilarity that is "Park and Recreation" on Netflix/NBC. Watch at least 3 to get the formula, but you may be hooked before that. Very funny!
*I sincerely wish there was a diet that involved eating peanuts/cashews and drinking coffee. Pretty sure that's a diet plan I could stick with.
*I had a slipcover on an armchair that would NOT stay put. (The slipcover, not the chair, LOL). Guess what keeps it in place now? Barbells. I wedged them behind the seat cushion at the corners. I am inventive if nothing else.....
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