Notes n stuff

So my oldest has had quite the funny week. Turns out she's been getting sick, so maybe that's made her more hilarious than normal. Here is a highlight reel of her week:

"Don't tell Mom, but I think I'm turning into a mermaid." [Yes. Don't tell Mom. She'll never figure that one out- not even when you grow fins or refuse to get out of the bathtub. Also? I have NO idea what she meant.]

She was playing 'orphanage' with her sisters. Which I know sounds weird, unless like us, you know a dozen or so adopting families, and then my guess is playing 'orphanage' is a way to show how you want to help. That's my theory. They also play 'Oksana', where they specifically adopt HER, but that's another story.

So, anyway, they were playing 'orphanage' and I guess my youngest daughter stopped playing along with the 'rules', and J said, "You better behave, or I'll send you back to the orphanage." Um, yeah, not how that works. And please never say that again or we'll end up on the news. Or Dr. Phil.

She has also realized this week that not only can she READ things, but she can....wait for it....WRITE. She is writing EVERYTHING. She wants to send cards to everyone she knows. She also wrote her first story called (this is her own spelling) "Helow. This is my storey." Then she wrote Gabe a silly note that said, "I think yr her loox wared." Which is of course "I think your hair looks weird."

But to top off the week, she wrote a note for Hadley and then stuck in under her pillow so that we found it at bedtime. She wrote, "From Jadyn to my chnookooms Hadley". I had to Google how to spell 'snookums', and we all say 'shnookums' anyway, so I think for a 6 year old, she did really well with that word. And her littlest sister was thrilled and it made my heart a big wad of goop to see one daughter go out of her way to show love to another.

Great ending to a mediocre week, in my opinion!

Dear Snow

Dear Snow,

I think I will miss you. I like my sweaters. I like how you make everything look. I like how you make it so much easier to see the birds and squirrels in the woods behind my house. I like seeing paw prints of various animals in the snow. I liked watching the squirrels dig down to the ground and then stand back up to eat. Why? Because all you could see was it's head; it looked like a prairie dog instead of a squirrel. I love checking for new icicles every morning. Also? Sledding ROCKS and totally wears my kids out is great exercise.

I do not like being stuck at home due to the ice you turn into, or the layering involved for sledding. It takes me AGES to get 3 kids bundled up enough to play. And it's Georgia, so we don't ever BUY snow boots. I have to wrap each foot with plastic grocery bags and multiple socks and then cram their feet into shoes. I also do not like all the laundry it creates. And when you melt it's oh, so muddy.

But I cannot help but feel a little sad today as I walk past the sled and have to look harder into the woods to see all the birds and rodents. So feel free to come back; just give us a few weeks to recover from this visit.

Muah,

Southern Momma

Daniel Fast

Every year for the past 3 or 4 years (I think) our church does a church wide "Daniel Fast". To read more on that, click HERE. That's my pastor's blog. He pretty much explains it and links other articles, so I'm not going to do all that here.

The point is for 21 days, those participating in this fast, will give up something. Sweets, television, meat, one meal, all meals, etc. for the purpose of setting aside time to read the Bible, pray, and seek God. What we give up is between us and God. But there is something really neat about knowing that so many of our friends are giving something up too and are praying for each other in the process.

Up until our church started doing this, all I knew of fasting was giving up food. And that it was forced. Several mission trips I went on thru a certain home school organization had 'mandatory' fasting. And I HATED it. It totally turned me off to fasting. Lesson #1- unless fasting comes from your heart, it's just skipping a meal. So when our pastor (Mike) brought this up to the church thru a sermon series, I rolled my eyes. Willing myself to listen, I paid attention and had all my misconceptions blown.

I thought fasting was about food, but it's not. It's about giving something up to spend time with God. To show Him He is a priority (like He should be everyday). The first year I gave up Internet after 6 pm (and it was AMAZING ow much time that freed up!) and from that fast, we decided to host a sweet, sweet girl named Oksana. The next year I gave up breakfast and lunch. With small kids, I still have to prepare all the meals anyway, and other than being hungry, it didn't give me any extra time to focus on God.

So this year, I am back to no Internet after 6pm. Last night was the first night and it nearly drove me nuts. I thought of about 5 things I wanted to do or look at on line and hadn't done before six. My goals for this 21 days are to (finish) reading 'Crazy Love ', and to start and finish 'Radical' and 'Forgotten God'. I'm halfway thru 'Crazy Love' and it's mind bending. I highly recommend it. I keep having to reread chapters to try and absorb it all.

One of the things about fasting is that it's a private thing. In other words, don't brag or boast about it or make a big deal about it. So other than this blog, I won't way anything else.

 This post has 2 purposes. One is to let you know I won't be on here after 6pm (so if I don't respond to your FB post, please don't be offended) and the second is to encourage you to do something similar. It's a great time to refocus and pray. And if I have nothing else, maybe I have at least been able to recommend a few good books and do some myth bashing regarding typical fasting.

Question of the Day

Here's what I want to know: How do you as a mom recharge yourself? And how often? Once a week for a couple of hours running errands? A once a month bubble bath?

It has taken me several years, but I finally realized that a couple of hours alone every couple of weeks is NOT going to end the world or get me on the prayer lists for neglecting my family! It's wonderful to have a chance to be alone, or be with other adults talking WITHOUT kids needing something and interrupting every couple of minutes.

Playdates with other moms are also my bread and butter. Even if we get constantly interrupted, it's an adult connection that after several days of bottles, spit up and whining, are MUCH needed to maintain my sanity. Even now that my kids are past the bottles and spit up, they are NOT past the whining or fighting, so my need for other adult conversation is still there.

The guilt factor, however? Loooong gone.

Miss Personality

So today I got to hang out with a very sweet little cutie pie. Her name is Liga (pronounced Lee-GUH) and she is 4 years old. She is from Latvia here on an orphan hosting program (see sidebar for link). Liga's host parents and I are in the same small group at church, and they are totally cool with me getting some of Liga's awesome hugs and kisses. Liga is not 'just' an orphan, she is a special needs orphan, making her situation even worse.

 I'm not sure what all is 'wrong' with her....she can walk and talk and is working on potty training. She sang to herself and loved the My Little Pony collection my girls brought out and loved to build with the blocks. Seemed pretty typical. She knew enough to be sneaky and she played many of the same little 'games' with me that my own girls have played with me. Things like crawling in my lap and pretending to be a baby, complete with fake crying, or pretending the pony was a hat or scratching her finger and then letting 'momma' kiss it better. Yup, that works not matter what language you speak!

Know what else is funny no matter where you're from? Passing gas. Yes. And today I learned the Russian word for it: pook-ee-ED (or something along those lines). She is clever enough at some point to remember I had made a sort of big deal about her toots and the announcements of them, come up behind me and make a fake 'toot' with her lips and then crack up laughing saying, "Pook-ee-ed!"

I don't know what her story is, or how long she has been at her orphanage. I watched her wolf down her yogurt and felt a little pang in my heart. Okay, a big pang. Not only for Liga and her plight, but also for her mother who is missing out on these things. Where is she? Does she have any idea what she's missing?

I can't imagine missing all the things Liga's birth mother isn't able to be a part of. And as for Liga, I will start praying in earnest that God will send her a mom and dad to scoop her up, laugh at her toots, and kiss her tiny cheeks.

My Ridiculous Day

The last couple of days have been the kind of days I think I shouldn't be allowed to DO anything. Everything I do or touch turns into a project I was not anticipating.

School? It's not just school. It's a treasure hunt for pencils that walk away and hide. Oh, and think the ruler will be where it's supposed to be? Nope. Even though I try to keep all the things I need for school in my school area, little artists think otherwise. And apparently the ruler makes a great ramp for the toy cars. Figures.

Breakfast? It's not just breakfast. It's a chance to pick up soggy Cheerios off the floor with a crying, milky three year old.

Errands? Errands with kids are interesting, to say the least. Today's task seemed easy since all I had to do was drive thru the bank. That's it. Just drive through. Of course, it's 19 degrees when we try and go, which means socks, shoes and coats are a must. Times 3. Which means they all have to be located x3 and put on, laced up and zipped. Times three. And my garage door hates the cold as much as I do because it won't come down. Up, yes, but not down. And I can't leave if the stupid door is up. So I struggle with it, finally get it down and get back in the van. I don't think I thawed out til we were on our way back home.

At some point vacuuming seemed like a great idea. Then I vacuumed up a cute little Hello Kitty sock. I told myself I didn't care. It was an old sock and was almost too small for my youngest anyway. I soon realized I had to care, bc the sock had clogged the tube and there was no suction. So I take apart the tube as best I can, but it's stuck smack in the middle and there is nothing in my house long enough and thin enough to poke it loose. Twenty minutes later, I get it out and finish vacuuming.

"Hey kids, it's COLD! Let's have a fire!" Oh, wait, there's no firewood. No big deal, we'll gather all the limbs that have fallen in all this INSANE wind and burn those. Oh, wait, they're too big. No big deal, I'll break them. Oh, they won't break. No big deal, I'll saw them. Oh, I sawed them into pieces that are too big for the fire place? No problem, I can saw them again. On the hearth. Making sawdust. On the floor I just vacuumed.

There's a lesson in here for me. Maybe I just need to learn when to quit. Or maybe I should just learn when not to even start.....But hey! Tomorrow is another day. One with NO fires, errands or vacuuming. I cannot guarantee no Cheerios, though.

Unless You're in my Shoes

So, I have a child that is a challenge. Not that she isn't wonderful and funny, expressive, smart and insightful and 100 other 'positive' things, but she IS, honestly, very challenging. And I'm going to say it, because no one really wants to admit they have one of those. Or if they do, it's in hushed tones, down played and with piles of guilt.

So enough. She's a challenge. But she's my challenge and if you mess with her, I will bury your body where it will never be found.

She was my easiest pregnancy. No morning sickness, no cravings, and I carried her like a basketball under my shirt until towards the end where I got fat all over. But I digress.....

Then she got here. I tried to nurse her and I thought she was going to suck out my shoulder blade. It never got 'better' and I gave it up at 8 weeks. She was colicky. She wanted to be held all the time. She screamed as soon as she got in the car and cried til she got out. Every trip. For almost 2 yrs. She hated stores. She cried from entering til exiting. Every time. For over 2 yrs. When I took away her bottle she went on a milk strike that went on for almost a year.

Every thing she did made me feel like a failure as a mom. And it didn't help when I tried to talk about what was going on, no one thought it was really that bad. But it was. And everyone said it would pass. And it didn't. It just morphed. From one 'thing' to the next 'thing'. Then her personality got blamed on her red hair or being the second child. I figured that was it bc I had nothing else to go by.

As time went on, there were other things that would stand out to me at random...her physical abilities, her need to smell everything, her obsession with swinging and jumping. She HATED preschool. HATED. I finally let her 'quit' and her upset stomach stopped and she quit grinding her teeth.

Then my sister sent me this link HERE and it was like this mommy-blogger had been raising MY child the last 4 years.  It was a little unnerving. I like how she laid it all out in her blog, which is also part of an overview of a book that I ordered Right That Minute, which is why I linked you to her blog. No need for me to reinvent the wheel.

I was excited about this book helping me become the parent my daughter needed, but I was still skeptical. I wasn't sure it would work and what if my child was somehow manipulating me? Was I just giving in to her? Was I catering to a 'faulty' personality? Or what if she acted the way she did because I was a bad mother to her?

This book has helped me see that her brain is literally wired differently. And there are things and strategies that Gabe and I can use (very easy ones, no less!) to make things easier for us and work WITH her instead of setting us all up to fail. The closest example I can thing of is this: If your child is dyslexic, is insisting/yelling/punishing them going to make them NOT reverse their letters and numbers? Can you 'make' them NOT be dyslexic? If you just stick to your guns and refuse to recognize the difference your LD child has, will that somehow make them be able to read? NO. It won't and it can't.

It's the same with a 'spirited' child. And you can believe what you want, and you can think what you want, but you CAN'T tell me that this isn't real. Or that I'm wrong. Or that my child is anything less than awesome. If you don't have a spirited child, you haven't walked in my shoes.

I don't want anyone to think that this blog is a rant or a letter in my defense. I have written this blog so that other frustrated parents can maybe see their own child in mine, or ease their own 'mommy guilt' and find the same resource I have. I am only half way thru the book, and I feel like I have a different outlook. I have better skills and me and my child (and thereby the REST of my family) are flowing better.

I am working on giving my daughter coping skills and self confidence while she learns that I understand her and love her to pieces. And isn't that what being a parent is all about?

Here is a link to the book.