So today I needed to meet a lady to deliver her memo board she that ordered from me. We met at Brewsters (a walk up ice cream place) and since it was nice outside (and my kids are just as bored by the daily routine as I am) we sat on the red mesh benches and I treated them to ice cream. (I did not have any, and I think that means I should be at least 5 pounds lighter in the morning, don't you?)
The sun was warm-ish, the sky was blue, the kids were happy and birds were chirping.
Then my 4 year old got her finger stuck in the bench. And I mean stuck. She was crying, I was trying to stay calm, and at least one of my girls turned to face the other way because it was just "too terrible to watch".
We had been sitting alone for most of our time there, but a man and his son had just arrived so I turned to him and asked if he had any lotion or hand sanitizer that I could slop all over her hand and finger. He apparently had been watching the whole thing and was ready to assist. He grabbed a value size bottle of hand sanitizer out of his car and handed it to me. Then while I worked on the top of Hadley's hand, he smeared the goop on the bottom of her finger.
Thankfully, her finger popped out and it wasn't cut. It took her awhile to stop crying (why do you think the name of my blog is *pink, sweet, DRAMATIC chaos*?) but she did and managed to finish her ice cream and laugh about it later.
Truthfully, it was a nervous laughter, but still..........
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wanna Win a Kindle Fire???
Friends of ours are hosting a giveaway to help us and another family raise the rest of our hosting funds. Please check this link out for your chance to win a Kindle Fire!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Holy Status Update, Batman!
This may be a record for blogging twice in one day. At least for me. I accidentally caused a ruckus on my Facebook page this afternoon when I posted the following:
"Dear Duggars, Maybe instead of confusing fertility with holiness, you could adopt a child that needs a family. Children are a blessing, yes, but there are literally thousands of abandoned blessings sitting in their own filth while being trapped in their cribs/cages. But you go ahead and claim godliness while having baby #20. I'm sure the 147,000,000 waiting orphans understand."
The Duggars are a part of the Quiverfull movement. This is based off the verses Ps. 127:4-5 "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." They also site Gen. 1:28, "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
There are lots more verses they use to defend their beliefs. You can easily find things on the Internet for yourself, and I quite frankly don't have time to go into every single verse and what-not here.
People who know me, know I am opinionated. If you have known me for more than 5 years, you will know I am also much more open minded and accepting now that I used to be. I rarely debate things. So I was surprised at my reaction when people reacted in favor of the Duggars and the Quiver full mentality.
Let me state a few things that I didn't get to this afternoon. People were commenting so fast, it was hard to keep up.
This next bit may shock you:
I was raised in a family that adopted the Quiver Full belief system. They joined a homeschool organization that was ubber strict, like the Duggars- in fact- the SAME one the Duggars are (or at least, were members of. (No music with a beat, no pants for women, and you willingly had all the children God gave you.) I went to countless meetings and get togethers. For hours and hours on end, I listened to this teaching. I promise it's not an exaggeration to say I spent at LEAST 9 weeks of my life listening to them teach about Full Quivers and other topics.
So, yes, I while I never bought the no dating/no pants, I DID buy into no birth control. I was going to trust God and accept His will. I had lots of heated debates where I defended my position. I was RIGHT. I was RIGHTEOUS. I had Bible verses to back me up.
Then there were a few years of 'real life' and maturing. I began to realize that not everything I had been taught was true. And it was very upsetting. I had to systematically look back at all the brainwashing (sorry- there's not a better word) that I had been thru all my teen years and into my 20s. Some things stood the test of study and research, but the Quiver Full beliefs did not.
You cannot pick and choose what verses you want to believe and use. You cannot look for Bible verse to back up what you already believe....you believe what you believe based on the Bible. There is a HUGE difference.
There were some times during my 'reshifting of beliefs' (as I call it), that it seemed like my whole life had been a lie. There were days when I was depressed and wanted to walk away from 'religion' all together. Growth hurts, and in the midst of it all the pastor that I had grown up with admitted to a 25 year affair. More angst.
I don't have all the kinks worked out of my thinking yet, but I am willing to study the Bible for MYSELF and not just believe what comes out of the pulpit on Sunday morning.
I have a great group of friends, and we think a lot alike, and even on the topics we don't, we can spar with each other and walk away friends. So even though the 90+ comments on my status may be astounding, I know they still accept me and I still accept them.
At least until I find out they are really serial killers, or something.
****If you are interested in what changed my mind about following the Quiver Full movement, you can read my friends blog HERE. She set up a whole blog dedicated to breaking down the beliefs. And she was raised almost exactly like me- same homeschool organization. In fact, it's how we met. And she is the only one from that time of my life I still talk to and wish I lived near.
"Dear Duggars, Maybe instead of confusing fertility with holiness, you could adopt a child that needs a family. Children are a blessing, yes, but there are literally thousands of abandoned blessings sitting in their own filth while being trapped in their cribs/cages. But you go ahead and claim godliness while having baby #20. I'm sure the 147,000,000 waiting orphans understand."
The Duggars are a part of the Quiverfull movement. This is based off the verses Ps. 127:4-5 "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." They also site Gen. 1:28, "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
There are lots more verses they use to defend their beliefs. You can easily find things on the Internet for yourself, and I quite frankly don't have time to go into every single verse and what-not here.
People who know me, know I am opinionated. If you have known me for more than 5 years, you will know I am also much more open minded and accepting now that I used to be. I rarely debate things. So I was surprised at my reaction when people reacted in favor of the Duggars and the Quiver full mentality.
Let me state a few things that I didn't get to this afternoon. People were commenting so fast, it was hard to keep up.
This next bit may shock you:
I was raised in a family that adopted the Quiver Full belief system. They joined a homeschool organization that was ubber strict, like the Duggars- in fact- the SAME one the Duggars are (or at least, were members of. (No music with a beat, no pants for women, and you willingly had all the children God gave you.) I went to countless meetings and get togethers. For hours and hours on end, I listened to this teaching. I promise it's not an exaggeration to say I spent at LEAST 9 weeks of my life listening to them teach about Full Quivers and other topics.
So, yes, I while I never bought the no dating/no pants, I DID buy into no birth control. I was going to trust God and accept His will. I had lots of heated debates where I defended my position. I was RIGHT. I was RIGHTEOUS. I had Bible verses to back me up.
Then there were a few years of 'real life' and maturing. I began to realize that not everything I had been taught was true. And it was very upsetting. I had to systematically look back at all the brainwashing (sorry- there's not a better word) that I had been thru all my teen years and into my 20s. Some things stood the test of study and research, but the Quiver Full beliefs did not.
You cannot pick and choose what verses you want to believe and use. You cannot look for Bible verse to back up what you already believe....you believe what you believe based on the Bible. There is a HUGE difference.
There were some times during my 'reshifting of beliefs' (as I call it), that it seemed like my whole life had been a lie. There were days when I was depressed and wanted to walk away from 'religion' all together. Growth hurts, and in the midst of it all the pastor that I had grown up with admitted to a 25 year affair. More angst.
I don't have all the kinks worked out of my thinking yet, but I am willing to study the Bible for MYSELF and not just believe what comes out of the pulpit on Sunday morning.
I have a great group of friends, and we think a lot alike, and even on the topics we don't, we can spar with each other and walk away friends. So even though the 90+ comments on my status may be astounding, I know they still accept me and I still accept them.
At least until I find out they are really serial killers, or something.
****If you are interested in what changed my mind about following the Quiver Full movement, you can read my friends blog HERE. She set up a whole blog dedicated to breaking down the beliefs. And she was raised almost exactly like me- same homeschool organization. In fact, it's how we met. And she is the only one from that time of my life I still talk to and wish I lived near.
30 Days of Thanksgiving....Compacted
There is a trend on Facebook right now to count down to Thanksgiving with what you are thankful for. Being the rebel that I am, I am doing them all at once and on my blog. I don't want to play catch up or get behind, but I think listing what you're thankful for is a SUPER idea. And since I am in a super duper crappy mood today, I think now would be a great time to do this.
1.) I am thankful for God, His Son, and Holy Spirit. God, that He made me and has a plan and purpose for my life: Jesus, that He saved me and loves me and wants to have a relationship with me....ME, of all people....and Holy Spirit, that He prompts me to speak and to be quiet ;-)
2.) I am thankful for my family. We all love each other and have the same insane humor. They are always just a phone call away.
3.) I am thankful for Gabe, because he is the only person on the planet that could possibly love me unconditionally and not let my moods or tears phase him. We work as a team, and he leads our family with love, not an iron fist.
4.) I am thankful for Jadyn Anna, Ava Jane and Hadley Gabrielle. Jadyn was our miracle baby: due to complications she went into heart failure in the womb at 21 weeks. She was born early, but whole, and has since been checked by a cardiologist and declared well. Ava was the red headed baby I wanted my whole life. Her freckles, blue eyes, long blond eyelashes and facial expressions get me every time. Hadley was the baby that joined our family so seamlessly, I can't imagine life without her. She is smart and witty and loves to cuddle.
5.) I am thankful for 'K'. I am thankful she was brave enough after all her trauma, to fly halfway around the world to take a chance on us. I am thankful she loves us and misses us. I am thankful for her heart and her laughter. I am incredibly thankful to be her mama, with or without a paper that states it!
6.) I am thankful for our church- for the teaching, guidance, support and love. We would be lost without them.
7.) I am thankful for my friends, old and new. They are funny, helpful, willing to listen, willing to pray....willing to keep my kids and let me use their shower, willing to pass along clothes and shoes for the girls, willing to buy me coffee and lend me toothpaste ;-)
8.) Internet
9.) my soft bed
8.) a/c and heat
9.) hot water
10.) microwave ovens
11.) modern medicine
12.) Netflix
13.) chocolate and coffee
14.) a safe neighborhood for the kids to ride bikes in
15.) ink in my printer
16.) super fluffy socks and sweats
17.) washer/dryer
18.) dishwasher
19.) That thumbtacks and hot glue can take care of so much
20.) the choice to home school my kids
21.) autumn
22.) naps
23.) scented candles
24.) fire pits and marshmallows
25.) That Gabe rescued me from the error of my ways and showed me a better way to go....the way of the Gators. ;-)
26.) Memories of my grandparents
27.) a fall birthday
28.) my health
29.) love
30.) the smell of crayons and masking tape
1.) I am thankful for God, His Son, and Holy Spirit. God, that He made me and has a plan and purpose for my life: Jesus, that He saved me and loves me and wants to have a relationship with me....ME, of all people....and Holy Spirit, that He prompts me to speak and to be quiet ;-)
2.) I am thankful for my family. We all love each other and have the same insane humor. They are always just a phone call away.
3.) I am thankful for Gabe, because he is the only person on the planet that could possibly love me unconditionally and not let my moods or tears phase him. We work as a team, and he leads our family with love, not an iron fist.
4.) I am thankful for Jadyn Anna, Ava Jane and Hadley Gabrielle. Jadyn was our miracle baby: due to complications she went into heart failure in the womb at 21 weeks. She was born early, but whole, and has since been checked by a cardiologist and declared well. Ava was the red headed baby I wanted my whole life. Her freckles, blue eyes, long blond eyelashes and facial expressions get me every time. Hadley was the baby that joined our family so seamlessly, I can't imagine life without her. She is smart and witty and loves to cuddle.
5.) I am thankful for 'K'. I am thankful she was brave enough after all her trauma, to fly halfway around the world to take a chance on us. I am thankful she loves us and misses us. I am thankful for her heart and her laughter. I am incredibly thankful to be her mama, with or without a paper that states it!
6.) I am thankful for our church- for the teaching, guidance, support and love. We would be lost without them.
7.) I am thankful for my friends, old and new. They are funny, helpful, willing to listen, willing to pray....willing to keep my kids and let me use their shower, willing to pass along clothes and shoes for the girls, willing to buy me coffee and lend me toothpaste ;-)
8.) Internet
9.) my soft bed
8.) a/c and heat
9.) hot water
10.) microwave ovens
11.) modern medicine
12.) Netflix
13.) chocolate and coffee
14.) a safe neighborhood for the kids to ride bikes in
15.) ink in my printer
16.) super fluffy socks and sweats
17.) washer/dryer
18.) dishwasher
19.) That thumbtacks and hot glue can take care of so much
20.) the choice to home school my kids
21.) autumn
22.) naps
23.) scented candles
24.) fire pits and marshmallows
25.) That Gabe rescued me from the error of my ways and showed me a better way to go....the way of the Gators. ;-)
26.) Memories of my grandparents
27.) a fall birthday
28.) my health
29.) love
30.) the smell of crayons and masking tape
Friday, October 28, 2011
Good Intentions. Sort of.
Before we had kids, I used to dote on Gabe. Then we had Jadyn, who was sick all the time. And then Ava (18 mos later) who screamed all the time. And then there was Hadley (19 mos later). Hadley was the 'easiest' baby, but when there are 3 kids ages 3 and under, it didn't matter. Gabe's days of doting were long over. I'm sure by now, he can barely remember the days the house was immaculate, his lunch was made and packed and I had the endurance to sit thru his choice of whatever zombie-sci fi-robot-shoot em up-movie he desired.
Long. Gone.
There are times I surprise him though. He said to me recently, "You always have something up your sleeve. I should know that by now." Last day at a job he hates? Surprise: friends over for build your own sundaes. Birthday? Surprise: start the day with pop tarts and end it with his family showing up with Blizzards. Anniversary? Surprise: Come home from work to find the kids are at grandparents and we are headed out to dinner.
I try and live by the motto, "It's the little things". Like his fave dinner or clean sheets or helping my family come up with really cool ideas for his Christmas gifts.
Back to sheets~
We both are a sucker for sheets fresh out of the drier. I usually only use half a drier sheet on clothes, but for our sheets? An entire drier sheet. I know, I know. Exotic living at it's finest. Then comes fall and Gabe starts hinting about getting out the flannel sheets. His hints get progressively less tactful as fall progresses and I ignore his hints, being that I strongly dislike flannel sheets.
Conversations start to sound like this:
Gabe: Hmmmm. October. Time for flannel sheets?
Me: Meh. Not cold enough.
Gabe: Hmmmm. Mid October. Where are the flannel sheets? Are they washed?
Me: Maybe. I don't know. I'll look tomorrow.
Gabe (as he crawls under the regular sheets): ACK! COLD! Did you find the flannel sheets?!
Me: *pretends to be asleep*
Gabe: *more exaggerated shivering noises*
At this point, I know I have dragged my feet long enough. So now we start making tiny baby steps to putting them on the bed.
Gabe: *exaggerated shivering noises*
Me: Hey- I found the sheets.
Gabe: GREAT! Can we put them on?
Me: No. They are too dusty from being stored all winter.
Gabe: *sigh*
Me: Look, I got the sheets in here. NEXT TO THE BED! They are practically on.
Gabe: Can we put them on tonight?
Me: Nope. I'm too tired/it's too late/a warm front just came through.
**repeat for a week**
Friday, October 28th,
10:00 AM
I take off the 'good' sheets and wash them, fold them, put them away. Decide TODAY, Gabe will get his flannel sheets.
10:02 AM
Realize that I am leaving this evening (overnight) and probably won't have time to help him put the flannel sheets on before I go.
10:03 AM
Laugh evilly to myself.
Long. Gone.
There are times I surprise him though. He said to me recently, "You always have something up your sleeve. I should know that by now." Last day at a job he hates? Surprise: friends over for build your own sundaes. Birthday? Surprise: start the day with pop tarts and end it with his family showing up with Blizzards. Anniversary? Surprise: Come home from work to find the kids are at grandparents and we are headed out to dinner.
I try and live by the motto, "It's the little things". Like his fave dinner or clean sheets or helping my family come up with really cool ideas for his Christmas gifts.
Back to sheets~
We both are a sucker for sheets fresh out of the drier. I usually only use half a drier sheet on clothes, but for our sheets? An entire drier sheet. I know, I know. Exotic living at it's finest. Then comes fall and Gabe starts hinting about getting out the flannel sheets. His hints get progressively less tactful as fall progresses and I ignore his hints, being that I strongly dislike flannel sheets.
Conversations start to sound like this:
Gabe: Hmmmm. October. Time for flannel sheets?
Me: Meh. Not cold enough.
Gabe: Hmmmm. Mid October. Where are the flannel sheets? Are they washed?
Me: Maybe. I don't know. I'll look tomorrow.
Gabe (as he crawls under the regular sheets): ACK! COLD! Did you find the flannel sheets?!
Me: *pretends to be asleep*
Gabe: *more exaggerated shivering noises*
At this point, I know I have dragged my feet long enough. So now we start making tiny baby steps to putting them on the bed.
Gabe: *exaggerated shivering noises*
Me: Hey- I found the sheets.
Gabe: GREAT! Can we put them on?
Me: No. They are too dusty from being stored all winter.
Gabe: *sigh*
Me: Look, I got the sheets in here. NEXT TO THE BED! They are practically on.
Gabe: Can we put them on tonight?
Me: Nope. I'm too tired/it's too late/a warm front just came through.
**repeat for a week**
Friday, October 28th,
10:00 AM
I take off the 'good' sheets and wash them, fold them, put them away. Decide TODAY, Gabe will get his flannel sheets.
10:02 AM
Realize that I am leaving this evening (overnight) and probably won't have time to help him put the flannel sheets on before I go.
10:03 AM
Laugh evilly to myself.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Bingo
Some of you know, last fall/winter I made 'memory boards' out of ceiling tiles that I painted and gave the money to 2 sets of friends that both happened to be adopting from DRC (Congo).
About a month ago, a friend from church put together a "Fall Market". It benefits our church's outreach fund in several ways AND anyone could rent a booth and sell out of that space. We decided to rent a spot and sell the memory boards. I have been painting like crazy the past 2 weeks. The end is in sight, and I am really looking forward to Saturday. I get to hang out with my hubby, friends, family, have fun and hopefully, prayerfully, sell the boards and make some money.
The deadline to pay for K's return visit is looming. We are trying to sell Gabe's car so that when we fill out the financial papers for the adoption, we aren't as lopsided as we look. The adoption will be around $18,000. We still owe about $2,000 for hosting.
I want to panic. But I am trying to trust and have faith. I have friends that have amazing stories of how God provided, and I am looking forward to passing along our own story one day.
Also, some of you may not know that I have wanted to adopt from Eastern Europe since about March 2009. It was a weird feeling to know that my family wasn't complete, and somewhere- there was a child waiting for us. There were a lot of nights I would cry and pray for the one I knew was "out there". I can't explain the feeling in my heart. I prayed and prayed and prayed for her/him and prayed too that Gabe would change his mind about international adoption.
Anyway, there is a song that we sing in church and it says
"And I don't need to see it to believe it.
I don't need to see it to believe.
Cause I can't shake this fire deep inside my heart......
For all Your sons and daughters.
Who are walking in the darkness.
You are calling us to lead them back to You.
We will see Your spirit rising.
As the lost come out of hiding.
Every heart will see this hope we have in You." (Hillsong)
That song yelled at me every single time to just wait and have faith. I told Gabe before K got here in July that she was meant for us. But I did promise not to nag, I just wanted him to know what I felt. So when she had been here 2 weeks, Gabe came to me with tears in his eyes and said that God had confirmed to him that she was our daughter. I was in complete shock. I laughed, I cried, and I couldn't feel my legs or my nose.
Guess what we sang the next morning in church????
So then, for some reason, I began to pray and ask God for a verse for K. I would read different verses, and I always had one eye open, but weeks went by with nothing specifically for her. And then 2 weeks ago in church we read 1 Samuel 1:27, "For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him."
Bingo. I don't even know what to say after posting the verse. I am still in awe that THERE it IS.
I am going to have to find/buy/make a sign with that verse on it.
.
About a month ago, a friend from church put together a "Fall Market". It benefits our church's outreach fund in several ways AND anyone could rent a booth and sell out of that space. We decided to rent a spot and sell the memory boards. I have been painting like crazy the past 2 weeks. The end is in sight, and I am really looking forward to Saturday. I get to hang out with my hubby, friends, family, have fun and hopefully, prayerfully, sell the boards and make some money.
The deadline to pay for K's return visit is looming. We are trying to sell Gabe's car so that when we fill out the financial papers for the adoption, we aren't as lopsided as we look. The adoption will be around $18,000. We still owe about $2,000 for hosting.
I want to panic. But I am trying to trust and have faith. I have friends that have amazing stories of how God provided, and I am looking forward to passing along our own story one day.
Also, some of you may not know that I have wanted to adopt from Eastern Europe since about March 2009. It was a weird feeling to know that my family wasn't complete, and somewhere- there was a child waiting for us. There were a lot of nights I would cry and pray for the one I knew was "out there". I can't explain the feeling in my heart. I prayed and prayed and prayed for her/him and prayed too that Gabe would change his mind about international adoption.
Anyway, there is a song that we sing in church and it says
"And I don't need to see it to believe it.
I don't need to see it to believe.
Cause I can't shake this fire deep inside my heart......
For all Your sons and daughters.
Who are walking in the darkness.
You are calling us to lead them back to You.
We will see Your spirit rising.
As the lost come out of hiding.
Every heart will see this hope we have in You." (Hillsong)
That song yelled at me every single time to just wait and have faith. I told Gabe before K got here in July that she was meant for us. But I did promise not to nag, I just wanted him to know what I felt. So when she had been here 2 weeks, Gabe came to me with tears in his eyes and said that God had confirmed to him that she was our daughter. I was in complete shock. I laughed, I cried, and I couldn't feel my legs or my nose.
Guess what we sang the next morning in church????
So then, for some reason, I began to pray and ask God for a verse for K. I would read different verses, and I always had one eye open, but weeks went by with nothing specifically for her. And then 2 weeks ago in church we read 1 Samuel 1:27, "For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him."
Bingo. I don't even know what to say after posting the verse. I am still in awe that THERE it IS.
I am going to have to find/buy/make a sign with that verse on it.
.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Oops!
I forgot to mention that I have moved all my adoption related blogging to a new address. Please check out and follow me here:
http://tendmylambs.blogspot.com/
I will keep blogging here for everything else.
http://tendmylambs.blogspot.com/
I will keep blogging here for everything else.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Nine is Fine!
Today is our anniversary! We have been married 9 years. One of my friends once said "The only thing special about your 9 year anniversary is that it's almost your 10th." It is kind of a odd number of years. So in that spirit, here are 9 Odd Facts about our relationship.
9.) We met at church on the first Sunday I visited First Baptist Loganville. We both new that day that we were meant to be together.
8.) On our first date we did dinner and a movie. We ate at "On the Boarder" and went to see "Pearl Harbor". Then we went back to my house and talked til 2 in the morning.
7.) The night we met his parents, he didn't warn me that we were going to go meet them. He just said, "Hey, you're going to meet my parents tonight." I got to meet his Grandma that night too since she happened to be up from Fla.
6.) We had a 4 month engagement.
5.) Even though we got married in August, there was a weird weather pattern over GA and it was low 70s and drizzly for a few days before and after our wedding. (Or it would have been in the 90s)
4.) Gabe's groomsmen put a can of tuna on the engine block of our getaway car. It started to burn before we had gone a mile and smelled AWFUL. It was ages before the car smelled normal again.
3.) I thought, and still do, that Gabe has the most awesome laugh ever.
2.) We used to constantly try and scare the other one. There was lots of hiding and jumping out of closets and from behind walls. It tapered off once Ibecame completely hormonal started having babies, but we still look for the chance to really get the other one.
1.) People say really rude and tacky things about having kids/babies/all girls. Things like, "Wow. Got stuck with all girls, huh?" Gabe has never taken the attitude that he has been 'stuck' with his girls. I say it takes a special man to be picked by God for 'all daughter duty', and an even greater man to be adopting a fourth.
Love you, Gabe!!!!
9.) We met at church on the first Sunday I visited First Baptist Loganville. We both new that day that we were meant to be together.
8.) On our first date we did dinner and a movie. We ate at "On the Boarder" and went to see "Pearl Harbor". Then we went back to my house and talked til 2 in the morning.
7.) The night we met his parents, he didn't warn me that we were going to go meet them. He just said, "Hey, you're going to meet my parents tonight." I got to meet his Grandma that night too since she happened to be up from Fla.
6.) We had a 4 month engagement.
5.) Even though we got married in August, there was a weird weather pattern over GA and it was low 70s and drizzly for a few days before and after our wedding. (Or it would have been in the 90s)
4.) Gabe's groomsmen put a can of tuna on the engine block of our getaway car. It started to burn before we had gone a mile and smelled AWFUL. It was ages before the car smelled normal again.
3.) I thought, and still do, that Gabe has the most awesome laugh ever.
2.) We used to constantly try and scare the other one. There was lots of hiding and jumping out of closets and from behind walls. It tapered off once I
1.) People say really rude and tacky things about having kids/babies/all girls. Things like, "Wow. Got stuck with all girls, huh?" Gabe has never taken the attitude that he has been 'stuck' with his girls. I say it takes a special man to be picked by God for 'all daughter duty', and an even greater man to be adopting a fourth.
Love you, Gabe!!!!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Because Blogging is more Fun than Cleaning.........
This is is bits and pieces post, for those who like to keep up with us.........
We started school. J is in second grade and learning cursive (which she is super excited about). A is in Kindergarten and loves to do her school work. She gets mad if she doesn't get to go first. (I do school in rounds....some with one, send them for a break or to work on their own, and then the second one comes over and we work for a bit and then either back to the first or add in the third.) H is doing "How to read in 100 Easy Lessons". So far, so good. She also LOVES to be read to, so often she will grab a book and try to curl up in my lap.
Gabe has been wanting to be an outside salesman for years. He was with one company for about 15 years, and they kept passing him over, so he left there and went to work for a similar, but bigger, company. He was there about 4 mos, and found out the outside salesman was quitting, so he requested to have that job. And he got it. We are more than thrilled and he is doing really well. He also got a company truck, which means he can sell his PT Cruiser. And we can quit buying gas for it, which is awesome. We strongly believe that this promotion (that came after his/our decision to adopt K) was God's confirmation and blessing that we were headed down the right path.
The Puzzle Piece Fundraiser is going pretty slow (although a HUGE thanks to those that have given!!!!). Part of me wants to be disappointed, and part of me wants to panic, but mostly I am just waiting and praying. Meantime, I am applying for jobs that I can do in the evenings. I have applied 3 places so far. Even though Gabe did get a promotion, it's hardly going to put a dent in adoption costs. Not to mention paying to rehost K at Christmas, and then Christmas itself. I am just praying something opens up fast, so we can get to saving!
The last bit of news is that J had a pretty epic bout with swimmers ear. The lymph nodes in her face, neck and pelvis all were swollen and she could hardly move her jaw to talk or chew. I read on-line about how to cure it, since of course it was a Saturday when she puffed up, and I kept reading about white vinegar and rubbing alcohol . Using equal parts of each, mix and then put a few drops in each ear. The vinegar helps with pain and the alcohol helps clear up infection. She took the drops like a champ and in 36 hours, was back to normal. No more swelling or pain. Now after swimming I will make sure to put rubbing alcohol drops in her ear to make sure the water is dried up and she doesn't relapse. (We are still going to the lake at least twice a week because it makes my difficult child so much easier for the next 2 days. Lord help me once it's Fall and we're not able to go. Yikes.)
We started school. J is in second grade and learning cursive (which she is super excited about). A is in Kindergarten and loves to do her school work. She gets mad if she doesn't get to go first. (I do school in rounds....some with one, send them for a break or to work on their own, and then the second one comes over and we work for a bit and then either back to the first or add in the third.) H is doing "How to read in 100 Easy Lessons". So far, so good. She also LOVES to be read to, so often she will grab a book and try to curl up in my lap.
Gabe has been wanting to be an outside salesman for years. He was with one company for about 15 years, and they kept passing him over, so he left there and went to work for a similar, but bigger, company. He was there about 4 mos, and found out the outside salesman was quitting, so he requested to have that job. And he got it. We are more than thrilled and he is doing really well. He also got a company truck, which means he can sell his PT Cruiser. And we can quit buying gas for it, which is awesome. We strongly believe that this promotion (that came after his/our decision to adopt K) was God's confirmation and blessing that we were headed down the right path.
The Puzzle Piece Fundraiser is going pretty slow (although a HUGE thanks to those that have given!!!!). Part of me wants to be disappointed, and part of me wants to panic, but mostly I am just waiting and praying. Meantime, I am applying for jobs that I can do in the evenings. I have applied 3 places so far. Even though Gabe did get a promotion, it's hardly going to put a dent in adoption costs. Not to mention paying to rehost K at Christmas, and then Christmas itself. I am just praying something opens up fast, so we can get to saving!
The last bit of news is that J had a pretty epic bout with swimmers ear. The lymph nodes in her face, neck and pelvis all were swollen and she could hardly move her jaw to talk or chew. I read on-line about how to cure it, since of course it was a Saturday when she puffed up, and I kept reading about white vinegar and rubbing alcohol . Using equal parts of each, mix and then put a few drops in each ear. The vinegar helps with pain and the alcohol helps clear up infection. She took the drops like a champ and in 36 hours, was back to normal. No more swelling or pain. Now after swimming I will make sure to put rubbing alcohol drops in her ear to make sure the water is dried up and she doesn't relapse. (We are still going to the lake at least twice a week because it makes my difficult child so much easier for the next 2 days. Lord help me once it's Fall and we're not able to go. Yikes.)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Puzzle Piece Fundraiser
Puzzle Piece Fundraiser!
We are kicking off a Puzzle Piece Fundraiser! The purpose of this
fundraiser is to jump start our funds to start our home study
(which we need to bring K home for good!).
You can read about that by clicking here.
Each puzzle piece is $5.
Click on the PayPal button at the top right hand side of the page.
When you send your contribution, please add a note telling
me what name to put on your puzzle piece. It can be for your child,
your family, or in honor/memory of a loved one.
When the puzzle is complete, we will frame it in a two-sided frame
so that K will be able to see the names of those that
helped her become a part of a forever family.
Please feel free to repost!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Last day and Future Plans
So on Tues we took K to the airport to send her home. That was one of the hardest things we have had to do. Even though we plan on her returning for Christmas, it didn't help ease the pain of watching her walk away with her chaperon thru security. Or make the van seem less empty. The house is too quiet. Even our kitten paced the house meowling that night, as if she was looking for her buddy also.
The kids are each dealing with K leaving in different ways. Jadyn cried and cried. Ava became completely obnoxious, trying to be funny and making a constant stream of non sense words. Hadley kept asking where she was. Yesterday seemed very very long. K's favorite pass time was Uno, so the kids wanted to play Uno all afternoon and evening. So we did, but even that was flat.
So what do we do now? We plan and pray she comes back at Christmas. We are able to email her, and I am so grateful for that connection. There is something more though. We knew before she got her she was unavailable for becoming our daughter. One parent still has legal rights. We have still chosen to pursue her, though. We are praying and hoping that by spring, we can start the process and that she will be with us as a daughter by summer.
She is a God story if I ever saw one. I cannot wait to be able to tell her everything, so that SHE can see and know that God has brought her to us. Please pray with us and for us (and her) as we start this journey. I cannot wait til the day her laughter is in our home again.
The kids are each dealing with K leaving in different ways. Jadyn cried and cried. Ava became completely obnoxious, trying to be funny and making a constant stream of non sense words. Hadley kept asking where she was. Yesterday seemed very very long. K's favorite pass time was Uno, so the kids wanted to play Uno all afternoon and evening. So we did, but even that was flat.
So what do we do now? We plan and pray she comes back at Christmas. We are able to email her, and I am so grateful for that connection. There is something more though. We knew before she got her she was unavailable for becoming our daughter. One parent still has legal rights. We have still chosen to pursue her, though. We are praying and hoping that by spring, we can start the process and that she will be with us as a daughter by summer.
She is a God story if I ever saw one. I cannot wait to be able to tell her everything, so that SHE can see and know that God has brought her to us. Please pray with us and for us (and her) as we start this journey. I cannot wait til the day her laughter is in our home again.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Lining Up
This morning I am on the verge of being emotional. I cannot bear the thought of putting K on a plane on Tues. Although I will have to, and Tues is coming no matter how much I mentally drag my feet. I was on my way to shower but I feel the need to post what is on my heart this morning.
I believe God has a plan. And whether we know it or not, we are all playing a part in it. Most of the time, we don't see the effect we have on others. Generally, we don't see how an act of kindness makes someones day, or the gift card we send anonymously makes someone cry with joy and relief. Those are the short term things.
But there are long term actions too. They line up like dominoes. Craig and Kevin feel led by God to go to Latvia on a mission trip. People make donations to make it happen. They stop at an orphanage they have never been to before. There is a girl there that begs to come to America. Craig blogs about her story and Kevin posts pictures. In America, I sit and cry reading her story. Then I see her picture, and I KNOW. People donate. We host her. We fall in love. We plan on rehosting, and ultimately, bringing her home for good.
We don't know what part we play. The point is, we were willing. It seems impossible? It makes no sense? It seems too small? Silly? Too much? Not enough? Doesn't matter. If God wants you to do something- DO IT. Even if you never see the whole story play out. Even if it seems impossible, or silly, or too small or overwhelming. God uses us in spite of those excuses; He wants to use us for His glory and for His purposes.
Who are we to ask why?
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
I believe God has a plan. And whether we know it or not, we are all playing a part in it. Most of the time, we don't see the effect we have on others. Generally, we don't see how an act of kindness makes someones day, or the gift card we send anonymously makes someone cry with joy and relief. Those are the short term things.
But there are long term actions too. They line up like dominoes. Craig and Kevin feel led by God to go to Latvia on a mission trip. People make donations to make it happen. They stop at an orphanage they have never been to before. There is a girl there that begs to come to America. Craig blogs about her story and Kevin posts pictures. In America, I sit and cry reading her story. Then I see her picture, and I KNOW. People donate. We host her. We fall in love. We plan on rehosting, and ultimately, bringing her home for good.
We don't know what part we play. The point is, we were willing. It seems impossible? It makes no sense? It seems too small? Silly? Too much? Not enough? Doesn't matter. If God wants you to do something- DO IT. Even if you never see the whole story play out. Even if it seems impossible, or silly, or too small or overwhelming. God uses us in spite of those excuses; He wants to use us for His glory and for His purposes.
Who are we to ask why?
Isaiah 55:8-9
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Saturday, July 30, 2011
UNO!
Sometimes silence means things are not going well. For me, at least in this case, it means that things have been going so well, I don't know where to start updating, LOL. Plus, we have been so busy, even on days we're just hanging around the house wearing out the UNO cards, by days end I am too pooped to blog.
K has gotten MUCH more relaxed and open around us. She is not as stiff and uncomfortable any more. She is walking around barefoot, calling dibs on the shower, trying to scare me and Gabe, asking for seconds, and laughing laughing laughing! Tiny things are making me happy-seeing her feel free to grab a throw blanket and snuggle down into a pillow to watch a movie, joking (even when she shouldn't be) and tiny things she is telling me about her home, all mean she is relaxing and trusting us.
She has told me some about her past and her family; it will just come out of no where and spill out. She tells me about her friends and what they like and don't like. She has told me some about her school. She is hugging me at night and holding my hand when we walk into stores. I love it. She is more reserved around Gabe, but she loves to watch him mow or grill, and she is def. ready to see him when he gets home. I see her watch the clock and listen for the garage door to open.
She has come soooooo far in the last 2 1/2 weeks. We only have til the 9th with her, and then she'll have to go home. I can't stand the thought of her leaving. I am glad we will be able to email and communicate that way. Meantime, we hope for a day when she can return.
K has gotten MUCH more relaxed and open around us. She is not as stiff and uncomfortable any more. She is walking around barefoot, calling dibs on the shower, trying to scare me and Gabe, asking for seconds, and laughing laughing laughing! Tiny things are making me happy-seeing her feel free to grab a throw blanket and snuggle down into a pillow to watch a movie, joking (even when she shouldn't be) and tiny things she is telling me about her home, all mean she is relaxing and trusting us.
She has told me some about her past and her family; it will just come out of no where and spill out. She tells me about her friends and what they like and don't like. She has told me some about her school. She is hugging me at night and holding my hand when we walk into stores. I love it. She is more reserved around Gabe, but she loves to watch him mow or grill, and she is def. ready to see him when he gets home. I see her watch the clock and listen for the garage door to open.
She has come soooooo far in the last 2 1/2 weeks. We only have til the 9th with her, and then she'll have to go home. I can't stand the thought of her leaving. I am glad we will be able to email and communicate that way. Meantime, we hope for a day when she can return.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I Tried to Explain the Tooth Fairy, but I think that got lost in translation.....
Most nights when K goes to bed, she will jump under the covers and pull them up to her chin and turn away from me and Ava. (She is sharing a room with my middle one and I have to sit with A to make her go to sleep.) When i try to hug her goodnight, she is stiff as a board. She won't acknowledge me or even say good night. Really, any touch towards her gets met with stiffness. I have tried to just do simple things to let her know we're not going to be rough or mean....mostly I pat her back or hand. At night, because she jumps into bed so fast after we pray together, I will kind of pat/scratch her arm and/or kiss the top of her head. I haven't actually tried to hug her goodnight in a few days since I sensed she was tense at night.
So tonight, she gets in bed and stays facing me as I walk across the room towards her. I hadn't planned on hugging her, but she reached out and initiated a nice hug and then said good night! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy, I tucked A in as fast as I could and then ran out to find Gabe to tell him.
We had an overall good day. Two of mine weren't so great, but by the afternoon, all was well. K jumped in and helped my oldest clean her room. (And I mean, they CLEANED it. Under the bed, under the mattress {which is another story in itself} and the closet.) J has embraced K and told me she likes having K as an older sister; she thinks she is fun! They even came to the table holding hands. Then we all had a silly evening playing Wii bowling. There was lots of laughing and smack talking. Every time Gabe does something funny, she calls him Mr Bean, and then dies laughing.
She is showing her dare devil side too, and I think if and when we have issues, it will probably be from that. She is really compliant and helpful otherwise. Oh, and she talked a lot today too. Lots. Gabe all of a sudden at dinner demonstrated some new Russian words he had learned from a guy he works with (whose wife is Russian) and that brought lots of giggles too.
Too bad she couldn't follow his story of a bug literally jumping in his throat while he was out watering the tomatoes.....
So tonight, she gets in bed and stays facing me as I walk across the room towards her. I hadn't planned on hugging her, but she reached out and initiated a nice hug and then said good night! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy, I tucked A in as fast as I could and then ran out to find Gabe to tell him.
We had an overall good day. Two of mine weren't so great, but by the afternoon, all was well. K jumped in and helped my oldest clean her room. (And I mean, they CLEANED it. Under the bed, under the mattress {which is another story in itself} and the closet.) J has embraced K and told me she likes having K as an older sister; she thinks she is fun! They even came to the table holding hands. Then we all had a silly evening playing Wii bowling. There was lots of laughing and smack talking. Every time Gabe does something funny, she calls him Mr Bean, and then dies laughing.
She is showing her dare devil side too, and I think if and when we have issues, it will probably be from that. She is really compliant and helpful otherwise. Oh, and she talked a lot today too. Lots. Gabe all of a sudden at dinner demonstrated some new Russian words he had learned from a guy he works with (whose wife is Russian) and that brought lots of giggles too.
Too bad she couldn't follow his story of a bug literally jumping in his throat while he was out watering the tomatoes.....
Monday, July 18, 2011
Jalapenos, anyone?
So tomorrow marks one week of having K here. She is still pretty shy, but there are times where we see the funny, bouncy child she really is. (If you play Uno with her, she is very good and will be funny and sassy while she is beating you!)
She is veeeeerryyyy slowly starting to talk more. Over today, we got 3 whole sentences out of her. "In L-tvia, I swim in (insert word for lake/pool/river/creek here)." Then she said it in R-ssian AND L-tvian in an attempt to help me know what she meant. She also was teasing Jadyn after playing the Wii and said "I am winner. You is loser." Then giggled when Jadyn said it back to her. She has the best laugh. Ever. The End. It's like sun is shining in my living room when she laughs. I love it. (There are some moments I literally ache for her to have more confidence!)
Yesterday we went to church. She went into class with Jadyn, and J said she did fine in there. She is very well behaved, so I wasn't worried, I just didn't want her to be completely overwhelmed. Apparently, she wasn't, lol. She even did the motions to the songs they sang.
One of our friends is a fireman, so we went to his station mid afternoon and he showed the girls the trucks and equipment and then let the kids get in the fire truck. That was pretty neat. Hadley (3) asked what would happen if she touched the fire truck. She had such awe in her voice; it was cute!
Then the cap on our weekend was going to the Laser Show at Stone Mountain. We met up with friends who are also hosting, and had a great time. K had fun with their girl (also L-tvian) and ate and laughed and ran so much, I'm amazed she didn't throw up, LOL.
Today we went to a lake near us that has a white sand beach. She was in heaven. And she didn't sunburn. She was pretty sedate the rest of the day...guess it all finally caught up with her. She was happy to hear we're going again soon.
One more crazy thing.....typically, these kids don't like spicy foods. They like sweet, salty and creamy, but not hot. Gabe was eating a *shudder* pickled jalapeno and saw K was eyeing it. He made sure she knew it would be HOT and she said, "Yes. Okay." and popped a piece in her mouth and nodded in approval. Then she ate more. Didn't sweat or flinch. Amazing. I think they bonded. Pretty sure she is the only L-tvian to enjoy and eat more of those! I'm still shaking my head!!!
She is veeeeerryyyy slowly starting to talk more. Over today, we got 3 whole sentences out of her. "In L-tvia, I swim in (insert word for lake/pool/river/creek here)." Then she said it in R-ssian AND L-tvian in an attempt to help me know what she meant. She also was teasing Jadyn after playing the Wii and said "I am winner. You is loser." Then giggled when Jadyn said it back to her. She has the best laugh. Ever. The End. It's like sun is shining in my living room when she laughs. I love it. (There are some moments I literally ache for her to have more confidence!)
Yesterday we went to church. She went into class with Jadyn, and J said she did fine in there. She is very well behaved, so I wasn't worried, I just didn't want her to be completely overwhelmed. Apparently, she wasn't, lol. She even did the motions to the songs they sang.
One of our friends is a fireman, so we went to his station mid afternoon and he showed the girls the trucks and equipment and then let the kids get in the fire truck. That was pretty neat. Hadley (3) asked what would happen if she touched the fire truck. She had such awe in her voice; it was cute!
Then the cap on our weekend was going to the Laser Show at Stone Mountain. We met up with friends who are also hosting, and had a great time. K had fun with their girl (also L-tvian) and ate and laughed and ran so much, I'm amazed she didn't throw up, LOL.
Today we went to a lake near us that has a white sand beach. She was in heaven. And she didn't sunburn. She was pretty sedate the rest of the day...guess it all finally caught up with her. She was happy to hear we're going again soon.
One more crazy thing.....typically, these kids don't like spicy foods. They like sweet, salty and creamy, but not hot. Gabe was eating a *shudder* pickled jalapeno and saw K was eyeing it. He made sure she knew it would be HOT and she said, "Yes. Okay." and popped a piece in her mouth and nodded in approval. Then she ate more. Didn't sweat or flinch. Amazing. I think they bonded. Pretty sure she is the only L-tvian to enjoy and eat more of those! I'm still shaking my head!!!
Friday, July 15, 2011
She really loves Mr Bean!
I finally have a second to update some of this week's details. I have tried to post updates on FB, but it's hard to get all the details on there.
K arrived Tues night and I was a bit worried bc she only took a few sips of water in the van and didn't want to eat dinner. Once we finally got home, she perked up at the cat and very clearly said, "I like cat!" Then she went to bed. She (well, all the kids) went to bed a little after 9 and I had to wake her up at 9:45 the next morning. There is a 7 (I think) hour time difference, plus travelling for 20-something hours, and you can imagine how tired she was. I hated to wake her up!
Once awake, she got dressed and then sat on her bed working on mazes and looking at books. I tried to lure her out with breakfast, but she didn't want to eat anything. She did gulp down some milk, and then went straight back to her room. She was so quiet, the kids were being quiet! I knew she needed a swimsuit, but I had wanted to wait a day or two before we went to a store, since sometimes that can be overwhelming. But since she wouldn't come out, I figured if I got us all out of the house, she'd HAVE to come out. So I told her 'machina' (Russian for car) and she nodded and got her shoes. We just went in to Target and I gave her 2 swimsuits to choose from, and she held hands with Ava and/or Jadyn the whole time. Once we got home, it was lunch time (which she did eat) and then we all watched a movie. She wowed the kids with her crazy jump rope skills and demonstrated how she can stand on her head (with no wall). They thought she was awesome.
My mom, sister, and her two little kids came over for a bit. We had baked brownies earlier, so we all enjoyed those. After they all left, Jadyn got really upset because she forgot to give my sister a card she had made, and K was very concerned that she was crying so hard. She patted her head and stood there with us, til she stopped crying. It was sweet.
Thursday I had promised that we would go swimming. Then of course, it rained. All day. So we hung out at the house and played games and hung around. She was still being really quiet, but she wasn't in her room all the time. We did venture out to a friend's house to pick blueberries. She was a trooper picking in the drizzle and ate so many, I thought she might be sick later. That was our big entertainment for the day til Gabe got home and set up the Wii. That helped her come out of her shell a tiny bit more.
Today we went one way to meet a friend and take his Russian speaking daughter with us to go the opposit way to the eye doctor. {K for some reason did not bring her glasses. She said she forgot, you can tell she really needed them, so maybe she was trying to be 'cool' and not have glasses? Who knows.} She quickly picked out 2 frames (they had a good deal for 2 sets and an exam) and then we had the exam. There were moments it was comical. The teen that was with us has been in America since March '10, so she was still alittle shaky on a few English words. But she did great. K was terrified and stiff and Z stayed calm the whole time, even though it had to have been awkward and stressful at times. I still had my three kids there, but they all love Z, so they enjoyed reading to her and sitting in her lap. Z stayed very calm with them and helped me keep them in line. Plus, she was great company for me. She was easy to talk to. She's very funny and helped keep everything 'light'. It was nice to be able to ask K what she thought of things and what her favorite color is and that sort of thing.....She was SO relieved when we got out of there, though. She was very cooperative, but you could tell she was scared and stiff.
Gabe picked the glasses up on his way home and she was very excited when he got home. She gave us hugs and said thanks to each of us. Then she got all nervous and put them away, and I said, "Uh? K! Glasses!" and laughed and she got the purple ones out and put them on. She was shaking, and after the initial telling her how good she looked, I was glad the kids didn't say anything else and we just had dinner as usual.
There was about an hour this afternoon where she was talking and running around with the kids and using English and Russian and laughing a lot. I hope I see that side of her more often. You can tell she has no confidence at ALL. She keeps her face blank and eyes down a lot of the time. It's very sad. She is also very artistic, and enjoys crafts- even playdoh and coloring. We are trying to constantly encourage her at every turn.
Tomorrow will be the first full day Gabe has been home since K arrived. She doesn't seem to fear him, or hate men like so many girls in her situation do, and that has been a relief. Oh, and tonight she showered without being told and her clothes from today went into the hamper instead of back in the drawer. I have learned that the simple act of putting clothes in the hamper is a huge act of trust in most cases. In most orphanages, they have shared clothes. So if you like something, you don't take it off. You wash it in the sink at night, if at all. I took some of her dirty clothes out of her drawer and washed them and returned them before she knew they were gone (I think) a couple of hours later. I wanted to SHOW her that I can be trusted....that I wasn't going to give her clothes to one of mine; that her things were her things and I would really give them back. Clean, even. So when I saw her clothes in the hamper, I had a tiny party in my heart.
It's only been 3 days. There is generally a 'honeymoon' period and then the tantrums or defiance can/will start. But I feel like we have covered a lot of ground for 3 days, even though there is so much more to go! Please keep praying, for her and for us and for the girls. There are good things happening, big and little, and it's been great to watch it all.
K arrived Tues night and I was a bit worried bc she only took a few sips of water in the van and didn't want to eat dinner. Once we finally got home, she perked up at the cat and very clearly said, "I like cat!" Then she went to bed. She (well, all the kids) went to bed a little after 9 and I had to wake her up at 9:45 the next morning. There is a 7 (I think) hour time difference, plus travelling for 20-something hours, and you can imagine how tired she was. I hated to wake her up!
Once awake, she got dressed and then sat on her bed working on mazes and looking at books. I tried to lure her out with breakfast, but she didn't want to eat anything. She did gulp down some milk, and then went straight back to her room. She was so quiet, the kids were being quiet! I knew she needed a swimsuit, but I had wanted to wait a day or two before we went to a store, since sometimes that can be overwhelming. But since she wouldn't come out, I figured if I got us all out of the house, she'd HAVE to come out. So I told her 'machina' (Russian for car) and she nodded and got her shoes. We just went in to Target and I gave her 2 swimsuits to choose from, and she held hands with Ava and/or Jadyn the whole time. Once we got home, it was lunch time (which she did eat) and then we all watched a movie. She wowed the kids with her crazy jump rope skills and demonstrated how she can stand on her head (with no wall). They thought she was awesome.
My mom, sister, and her two little kids came over for a bit. We had baked brownies earlier, so we all enjoyed those. After they all left, Jadyn got really upset because she forgot to give my sister a card she had made, and K was very concerned that she was crying so hard. She patted her head and stood there with us, til she stopped crying. It was sweet.
Thursday I had promised that we would go swimming. Then of course, it rained. All day. So we hung out at the house and played games and hung around. She was still being really quiet, but she wasn't in her room all the time. We did venture out to a friend's house to pick blueberries. She was a trooper picking in the drizzle and ate so many, I thought she might be sick later. That was our big entertainment for the day til Gabe got home and set up the Wii. That helped her come out of her shell a tiny bit more.
Today we went one way to meet a friend and take his Russian speaking daughter with us to go the opposit way to the eye doctor. {K for some reason did not bring her glasses. She said she forgot, you can tell she really needed them, so maybe she was trying to be 'cool' and not have glasses? Who knows.} She quickly picked out 2 frames (they had a good deal for 2 sets and an exam) and then we had the exam. There were moments it was comical. The teen that was with us has been in America since March '10, so she was still alittle shaky on a few English words. But she did great. K was terrified and stiff and Z stayed calm the whole time, even though it had to have been awkward and stressful at times. I still had my three kids there, but they all love Z, so they enjoyed reading to her and sitting in her lap. Z stayed very calm with them and helped me keep them in line. Plus, she was great company for me. She was easy to talk to. She's very funny and helped keep everything 'light'. It was nice to be able to ask K what she thought of things and what her favorite color is and that sort of thing.....She was SO relieved when we got out of there, though. She was very cooperative, but you could tell she was scared and stiff.
Gabe picked the glasses up on his way home and she was very excited when he got home. She gave us hugs and said thanks to each of us. Then she got all nervous and put them away, and I said, "Uh? K! Glasses!" and laughed and she got the purple ones out and put them on. She was shaking, and after the initial telling her how good she looked, I was glad the kids didn't say anything else and we just had dinner as usual.
There was about an hour this afternoon where she was talking and running around with the kids and using English and Russian and laughing a lot. I hope I see that side of her more often. You can tell she has no confidence at ALL. She keeps her face blank and eyes down a lot of the time. It's very sad. She is also very artistic, and enjoys crafts- even playdoh and coloring. We are trying to constantly encourage her at every turn.
Tomorrow will be the first full day Gabe has been home since K arrived. She doesn't seem to fear him, or hate men like so many girls in her situation do, and that has been a relief. Oh, and tonight she showered without being told and her clothes from today went into the hamper instead of back in the drawer. I have learned that the simple act of putting clothes in the hamper is a huge act of trust in most cases. In most orphanages, they have shared clothes. So if you like something, you don't take it off. You wash it in the sink at night, if at all. I took some of her dirty clothes out of her drawer and washed them and returned them before she knew they were gone (I think) a couple of hours later. I wanted to SHOW her that I can be trusted....that I wasn't going to give her clothes to one of mine; that her things were her things and I would really give them back. Clean, even. So when I saw her clothes in the hamper, I had a tiny party in my heart.
It's only been 3 days. There is generally a 'honeymoon' period and then the tantrums or defiance can/will start. But I feel like we have covered a lot of ground for 3 days, even though there is so much more to go! Please keep praying, for her and for us and for the girls. There are good things happening, big and little, and it's been great to watch it all.
Monday, July 11, 2011
The 'A' Word
Some pretty encouraging things happened this weekend as far as hosting K goes. An acquaintance of mine mailed us a check to go towards taking K to the game ranch and Monkey Joes (the 2 activities that I mentioned in my last post). It was very sweet and we are very grateful! The second thing was a friend from church walked up to me yesterday and asked if I needed anything for K by the time she gets here Tues. When asked out right, I really do have a hard time accepting help. I generally don't even let the baggers at Publix take my groceries out..."I got it" is what I tell them....even if I don't. So it was hard on my behalf to say "pajamas". And then this sweet lady said she would take care of the pjs and make sure we had them by Tuesday. Relief and gratitude washed thru me.
Later today, I will go to Walmart and use a gift card another friend gave me to get last minute groceries and possibly some underware for her. My mom donated all the toiletries that K will need. Things are coming together, and it's exciting to watch God provide what we need. We couldn't MAKE this stuff happen- it's all God's hand on K's behalf.
Another quick note that I need to mention: please please please do NOT mention the word 'adoption' anywhere near K. She is unavailable for adoption currently and if she hears the word, she might get her hopes up. She speaks pretty good English, and even the ones that don't know that word. I have one friend that refers to that as the 'a' word, lol.
Say a quick prayer today as she travels to us! I'll post pics tomorrow night after we get her!!!
Later today, I will go to Walmart and use a gift card another friend gave me to get last minute groceries and possibly some underware for her. My mom donated all the toiletries that K will need. Things are coming together, and it's exciting to watch God provide what we need. We couldn't MAKE this stuff happen- it's all God's hand on K's behalf.
Another quick note that I need to mention: please please please do NOT mention the word 'adoption' anywhere near K. She is unavailable for adoption currently and if she hears the word, she might get her hopes up. She speaks pretty good English, and even the ones that don't know that word. I have one friend that refers to that as the 'a' word, lol.
Say a quick prayer today as she travels to us! I'll post pics tomorrow night after we get her!!!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Time Aproaches~
We are less than a week away from picking 'K' up at the airport. We set up her bed, washed her sheets and cleaned out a drawer for her. I set her alarm clock, plugged in her lamp and started cleaning. I'm not sure she'll care that I washed out the fridge and cleaned the vents, but she might ;-)
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Some people, when they host, fear the language barrier. Some people fear they won't like the food that their family normally eats. This is our third hosting, and I don't fear those things. At least not much. I'll stock up on chicken, Ramen noodles, chips, fruit, potatoes, cucumbers and tomatoes. Surely K will like something we have, right? And I hear she speaks okay English, but even if she didn't, I have had amazing talks with people via the computer translator and charades.
Honestly, my biggest fear is her being bored. We can all remember being kids and being at some one's home for a few days and once there is nothing to do- anything can happen. Homesickness to hyperactivity. The last 2 summers I have kept us moving and going places. This year, our budget is so tight you can hear it squeak and I won't be able to do that. I really want to take her to Monkey Joes and I really want to take her to a game ranch nearby where you can pet and feed all kinds of animals. I'm praying I can do both. At the very least we will be able to swim at the lake quite a bit. I'm praying she likes to swim.
My other concern is one I can't quite put words around. I want to make sure she sees God in our family and knows that Jesus loves her and has a plan for her life. Even though everyone else has quit on her, He will never quit. My prayer is that we can show her that in 100 different ways while she is here. I know her history, and it's painful and harsh and too much for an 11 year old. I pray we can begin to touch her heart and set her on the right road. The road where she doesn't become like her parents, or those around her, but a woman who has a purpose and a hope and does good things for others.
This is a prayer someone posted on a pic of her before we agreed to host her (or even knew she COULD be hosted):
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Some people, when they host, fear the language barrier. Some people fear they won't like the food that their family normally eats. This is our third hosting, and I don't fear those things. At least not much. I'll stock up on chicken, Ramen noodles, chips, fruit, potatoes, cucumbers and tomatoes. Surely K will like something we have, right? And I hear she speaks okay English, but even if she didn't, I have had amazing talks with people via the computer translator and charades.
Honestly, my biggest fear is her being bored. We can all remember being kids and being at some one's home for a few days and once there is nothing to do- anything can happen. Homesickness to hyperactivity. The last 2 summers I have kept us moving and going places. This year, our budget is so tight you can hear it squeak and I won't be able to do that. I really want to take her to Monkey Joes and I really want to take her to a game ranch nearby where you can pet and feed all kinds of animals. I'm praying I can do both. At the very least we will be able to swim at the lake quite a bit. I'm praying she likes to swim.
My other concern is one I can't quite put words around. I want to make sure she sees God in our family and knows that Jesus loves her and has a plan for her life. Even though everyone else has quit on her, He will never quit. My prayer is that we can show her that in 100 different ways while she is here. I know her history, and it's painful and harsh and too much for an 11 year old. I pray we can begin to touch her heart and set her on the right road. The road where she doesn't become like her parents, or those around her, but a woman who has a purpose and a hope and does good things for others.
This is a prayer someone posted on a pic of her before we agreed to host her (or even knew she COULD be hosted):
"Father God cover K that what Satan would try to use in that pain and betrayal you would claim your glory..that all of it would be used and that this child would not remain in that hurt but cling to you while you carry her from it. May she rise up a God fearing woman that knows your love. May you send her rescue now Lord, a woman that will share you with her! Claiming her life for you Lord!! Amen"
Please pray that our family can be her 'rescue'.
On a slightly different note, but just as serious, there is a sight called Reeces Rainbow. Many of you have heard of it. It has pictures and short bios on children in other countries that are waiting to be adopted. These kids are special needs kids; some have FAS, some have Downs Syndrome or CP or HIV. Some are barely affected and others have horrible health problems. These are the unwanted of the unwanted. Time for these kids is short, because after they turn 5, they are moved from 'baby houses' to 'adult houses' where they spend their days drugged, under fed, and strapped to their beds sitting in the one diaper they get for the day. Sounds too awful to be true, yet it is. 85% of these kids die in the first year after they are transferred out of the baby homes.
This sight has matched so many kids to their forever families.
Today, a cutie pie with Downs Syndrome died without a family. He was so cute and when I saw the fwds saying he had passed, I cried. He was almost 3 and deserved a family. He probably died of something that a family and proper medical attention could have prevented.
People debate about helping kids in other countries before we help our own. That's like saying that missionaries have no business going to other countries until everyone in America is a Christian. A life is a life, whether they have a disease or not and whether they are overseas or not. Children are dying while people do nothing. People are stalling around waiting for a convenient time to adopt and children die with no family. You can't look at this sweet face and not be moved.
Pick someone to help and do it. For Warner. For Ksenija.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Update on my Lovely Day
I am still major on medication and I have no idea if this post will make sense or not. The bottom line is, I went in today to have two things done. One was have the IUD that had moved to where it shouldn't be removed since it couldn't be removed normally. The other was to have Essure put in.
It required lots of meds, although I was still awake. I even got a shot in the booty. And then about 3 inside 'there'. The one in the butt was worse. After much work, they fished out the IUD. Yay. Then they started with the Essure. Basically, that involves putting springs in each tube and then letting it scar over.
My insides were not cooperative. My uterus is very prolapsed. And my tubes aren't quite right either. They (well, the only one they worked on) had lots of spasms and violently rejected the springs. The head Essure Dr-dude was in there to assist, and even he was in awe of what my body was doing/not doing.
Also, there was a lot of pain. A very sweet nurse held my hand and rubbed my leg and kept handing me tissues because at this point I was in a lot of pain. Lots. And then I kept crying despite of myself.
They had to give up. So that made me cry more since all that had been for nothing.
They gave me other options, but we have no idea what we want to do now. I can barely type this, so I'
m going to need a few days to get clear headed, and then we'll start from there.
So I am a freak of nature, lol, and this didn't work for me. Thanks for all the prayers and texts. Sorry if some of this blog was TMI. Also, thanks to my dad for going with me to drive and my mom for keeping the kids and then cooking a really great dinner that everyone inhaled.
It required lots of meds, although I was still awake. I even got a shot in the booty. And then about 3 inside 'there'. The one in the butt was worse. After much work, they fished out the IUD. Yay. Then they started with the Essure. Basically, that involves putting springs in each tube and then letting it scar over.
My insides were not cooperative. My uterus is very prolapsed. And my tubes aren't quite right either. They (well, the only one they worked on) had lots of spasms and violently rejected the springs. The head Essure Dr-dude was in there to assist, and even he was in awe of what my body was doing/not doing.
Also, there was a lot of pain. A very sweet nurse held my hand and rubbed my leg and kept handing me tissues because at this point I was in a lot of pain. Lots. And then I kept crying despite of myself.
They had to give up. So that made me cry more since all that had been for nothing.
They gave me other options, but we have no idea what we want to do now. I can barely type this, so I'
m going to need a few days to get clear headed, and then we'll start from there.
So I am a freak of nature, lol, and this didn't work for me. Thanks for all the prayers and texts. Sorry if some of this blog was TMI. Also, thanks to my dad for going with me to drive and my mom for keeping the kids and then cooking a really great dinner that everyone inhaled.
Monday, June 20, 2011
The End
I debated about posting this.....really it's no one's business. Everyone has their opinion. But since I occasionally get comments about my honestly being helpful to someone, here it goes.....
On Wednesday, I will take measures to make sure that I won't have anymore babies. It's like tube-tying, but no cutting or burning is required. It's actually called Essure, and I will go into my ob/gyn's office and they will insert something into my tubes and then leave it in there. In 3 mos, I will go back and they will test to see if scar tissue has formed and is blocking my tubes. And that will be that.
I was pretty sure when I was pregnant with my last that I wanted her to be my last. I don't mind babies. I don't mind kids. I. Hate. Being. Pregnant. Babies are a blessing, yes, but not so much pregnancy. At least for me. It's 40 weeks of total misery. And I have 'side effects' to pregnancy that I didn't even know you could have. Like Restless Leg Syndrome. Except over my whole body from week 18 onward. I don't deal with pregnancy very well. Labor is a piece of cake, though, really. Under 12 hours of labor and less than 15 min of pushing is impressive. I thing my body is as ready to be done with the whole invasion as my brain is.
But Gabe and I gave ourselves a several year window to make the final call juuuuuust in case. There's a long list of things that if they were different, I would be more willing to have another baby. But it is really long and full of things that no one can guarantee or make happen. Like space, money, no more Restless Leg Syndrome, migraines, vein issues, etc. Oh, and I'd have to find a new drs office since mine got rid of all their midwives (except the one I don't like). And then I'd have to go off certain meds, and I am at the point where that isn't an idea that works. Jadyn and Ava would have to go to public school in that instance. (Just trust me when I say me not on meds isn't a good idea on ANY level.)
Then there's the bigger issue of my want/love of orphans. I just don't think I (me, just ME- not passing judgement on others, ME) could have another when there are so many hundreds of thousands of children that are in foster care or orphanages. I would feel guilty. I would rather give a child that is already in this world a chance at a family than have another of my own, just for the sake of having one more.
I am sad when I think of no more babies. I'd love to have a boy. I'd love to have another blond so people (might) stop asking my if Jadyn is mine or a friend of the family. I see little round faced, red headed boys and imagine that's probably that's what ours would look like if had another. I look at pictures of my girls as babies and wish I could go back in time, just for a day. And I wish often I could freeze time so they won't get any bigger or older. But popping out another one won't stop time. And it's ok to be sad and wonder 'if''. A passing of an era is sad.
But I am alright, underneath it all. And so is Gabe. We have prayed and are looking forward to what may come our way. I'm nervous about the actual procedure on Wed, but am at peace with the over all picture. I have been blessed three times over and wouldn't trade them for anything.
Prayers appreciated Wed at 11.
On Wednesday, I will take measures to make sure that I won't have anymore babies. It's like tube-tying, but no cutting or burning is required. It's actually called Essure, and I will go into my ob/gyn's office and they will insert something into my tubes and then leave it in there. In 3 mos, I will go back and they will test to see if scar tissue has formed and is blocking my tubes. And that will be that.
I was pretty sure when I was pregnant with my last that I wanted her to be my last. I don't mind babies. I don't mind kids. I. Hate. Being. Pregnant. Babies are a blessing, yes, but not so much pregnancy. At least for me. It's 40 weeks of total misery. And I have 'side effects' to pregnancy that I didn't even know you could have. Like Restless Leg Syndrome. Except over my whole body from week 18 onward. I don't deal with pregnancy very well. Labor is a piece of cake, though, really. Under 12 hours of labor and less than 15 min of pushing is impressive. I thing my body is as ready to be done with the whole invasion as my brain is.
But Gabe and I gave ourselves a several year window to make the final call juuuuuust in case. There's a long list of things that if they were different, I would be more willing to have another baby. But it is really long and full of things that no one can guarantee or make happen. Like space, money, no more Restless Leg Syndrome, migraines, vein issues, etc. Oh, and I'd have to find a new drs office since mine got rid of all their midwives (except the one I don't like). And then I'd have to go off certain meds, and I am at the point where that isn't an idea that works. Jadyn and Ava would have to go to public school in that instance. (Just trust me when I say me not on meds isn't a good idea on ANY level.)
Then there's the bigger issue of my want/love of orphans. I just don't think I (me, just ME- not passing judgement on others, ME) could have another when there are so many hundreds of thousands of children that are in foster care or orphanages. I would feel guilty. I would rather give a child that is already in this world a chance at a family than have another of my own, just for the sake of having one more.
I am sad when I think of no more babies. I'd love to have a boy. I'd love to have another blond so people (might) stop asking my if Jadyn is mine or a friend of the family. I see little round faced, red headed boys and imagine that's probably that's what ours would look like if had another. I look at pictures of my girls as babies and wish I could go back in time, just for a day. And I wish often I could freeze time so they won't get any bigger or older. But popping out another one won't stop time. And it's ok to be sad and wonder 'if''. A passing of an era is sad.
But I am alright, underneath it all. And so is Gabe. We have prayed and are looking forward to what may come our way. I'm nervous about the actual procedure on Wed, but am at peace with the over all picture. I have been blessed three times over and wouldn't trade them for anything.
Prayers appreciated Wed at 11.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Please send me to Fat Camp....
I am so frustrated. I have cut out lots of foods and tried to keep moving and I can't seem to lose weight. I lost all the weight after Jadyn. I lost about half of it after Ava, and then got preggers with Hadley and added to it. So what I weigh now is what I weighed when I gave birth to Ava, so needless to say, I feel huge. I resent my skinny friends. I resent my friends that can go to the gym or have their kids in school so they can actually exercise without being pestered to death. I seem unable to find a consistent time to be able to walk in my neighborhood. And I kind of don't care because even when I did it everyday, I still held on to my weight. I guess I need even more than a 40 min speed walk. I have tried to dress nicer so at least I feel better about myself. Which worked for a bit, but now I am seeing pics and worse, a video of myself, and I want to crawl in a hole. It's been almost four years. I am ready to move on. And I would be happy to just lose SOME of it. I don't even care if I make it to pre-baby weight.
Pardon the pity party. I'm just so frustrated.
Pardon the pity party. I'm just so frustrated.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Bits
***When school ended, I was contemplating what to do with my oldest one during the summer, if anything. I am all for giving kids a BREAK from school; I think they need that. And I have seen her struggle with something in the spring, have her summer break, and then magically know/do that same concept when we start school again. Mostly I was wondering if I should keep drilling her math facts, telling time, count change, and make her read to me through the summer.
Turns out that I didn't need to worry about 3 out of 4 of those things.....she is (slightly) obsessed with reading the clock. We got a big wall clock for our living room back in the spring, and it apparently beckons her to read it and then announce the time. She is also reading at least a book a day to me. She begs me to listen to her read. And for the last three weekends we have had a yard sale and there has been tons of coinage around here that she has enjoyed counting. I guess we will get to the math facts eventually! Or not. We'll see.
***It has been the Week Of Babies around here. One friend had her (3rd) baby and as she was leaving the hospital, another friend was going in to have her (4th) baby. And yet another friend surprised the FaceBook world by finally announcing (and bringing home) her newborn adopted twin boys! And it's only Wednesday!!! (And if you're wondering if that makes ME want to have another baby, I can tell you. No. It doesn't.)
***My two youngest girls learned about the Ten Commandments last Sunday at church. My 3 year old was able to tell me several of them, and my 5 year old informed me that 'resting on God's Day means napping after church'. LOL I'll have to remind her of that next Sunday when I am trying to sleep.
***We got the results back from our ChickFilA fundraiser. We made about $150. Thanks again to all that came out! We will be doing it again at the Monroe location THIS TUES from 5-8.
***Lastly, we have our hosting training on Friday evening. I am looking forward to it! It's always a great chance to meet the other hosting parents in the area, although it can be overwhelming. I'm not anticipating anything (the guidelines) to be super different than the other organization we hosted through, but we'll see. And I feel like I am ahead of the curve because I have so many pictures of K, and know a lot about her already. Maybe that will take some of the blind terror out of it. ;-)
Turns out that I didn't need to worry about 3 out of 4 of those things.....she is (slightly) obsessed with reading the clock. We got a big wall clock for our living room back in the spring, and it apparently beckons her to read it and then announce the time. She is also reading at least a book a day to me. She begs me to listen to her read. And for the last three weekends we have had a yard sale and there has been tons of coinage around here that she has enjoyed counting. I guess we will get to the math facts eventually! Or not. We'll see.
***It has been the Week Of Babies around here. One friend had her (3rd) baby and as she was leaving the hospital, another friend was going in to have her (4th) baby. And yet another friend surprised the FaceBook world by finally announcing (and bringing home) her newborn adopted twin boys! And it's only Wednesday!!! (And if you're wondering if that makes ME want to have another baby, I can tell you. No. It doesn't.)
***My two youngest girls learned about the Ten Commandments last Sunday at church. My 3 year old was able to tell me several of them, and my 5 year old informed me that 'resting on God's Day means napping after church'. LOL I'll have to remind her of that next Sunday when I am trying to sleep.
***We got the results back from our ChickFilA fundraiser. We made about $150. Thanks again to all that came out! We will be doing it again at the Monroe location THIS TUES from 5-8.
***Lastly, we have our hosting training on Friday evening. I am looking forward to it! It's always a great chance to meet the other hosting parents in the area, although it can be overwhelming. I'm not anticipating anything (the guidelines) to be super different than the other organization we hosted through, but we'll see. And I feel like I am ahead of the curve because I have so many pictures of K, and know a lot about her already. Maybe that will take some of the blind terror out of it. ;-)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Dear Doofus,
So tonight was our Fundraiser at Chick Fil A. We will get to keep 20% of all the receipts that we collected from the people that ate there tonight. Some of the people we knew, and others that we didn't know simply gave us their receipt. We had 3 plastic containers with the kids' pictures on them and a friend made us little posters to hold up along with the containers. The signs just said "SUPPORT ORPHANS! Donate your Receipts. Thanks!" That was all, but it cut down on explaining everything 5 million times thru the evening.
Most people that I encountered were polite. Some just shoved the receipt at me as they drove by (I was in the drive through lane) and a few asked questions and were generally supportive. A few rolled up their windows and ignored me, and that was OK too.
But then someone came through that really needed to be punched. As they gunned it to get away from me, a young guy yells out his window to me, "Who cares?! No one wants them anyway!" And then he was around the building and gone.
One of my best friends and her family happened to be standing with me when that happened. I was glad not to be alone, and they both were ticked off that he had yelled something so down right MEAN. I was shocked for a second, and then the words sunk in and I got choked up and started to cry. My friend's daughter was looking at me, and I didn't want to scare her, so I started talking about how my three girls were inside and ready to play with her. I stayed on the verge of tears for a few more minutes, but tried not to focus on something uttered by a complete moron.
So to this moron I would like to say: You're right. No one wanted them. That's what made them orphans. How astute of you to point that out. I would love to have talked with you and enlightened you on what we are trying to do, but since you shouted it out your car window like a COWARD and drove off, I can't. I can't ask you what your problem is. I can't explain their plight. I can't explain that it's people like you that are the reason there are so many orphans in the world today. Do you feel better now you mocked an orphan? Do you know they are God's special children? Do you know are worse off than my Ksenija, who you ridiculed?! You think they are worthless; but they aren't. You are. And not only are you a COWARD for doing a drive by mocking, you are STUPID as well because you have a custom plate on your car, and we all saw it.
But someone wants these kids now- they are still orphans, but they are wanted. They are loved. They are prayed for. Their pictures are printed and on refrigerators. And in July we will hug them and kiss them and bring them home.
And you will, most likely, still be a walking-talking-waste-of-air TURD.
Most people that I encountered were polite. Some just shoved the receipt at me as they drove by (I was in the drive through lane) and a few asked questions and were generally supportive. A few rolled up their windows and ignored me, and that was OK too.
But then someone came through that really needed to be punched. As they gunned it to get away from me, a young guy yells out his window to me, "Who cares?! No one wants them anyway!" And then he was around the building and gone.
One of my best friends and her family happened to be standing with me when that happened. I was glad not to be alone, and they both were ticked off that he had yelled something so down right MEAN. I was shocked for a second, and then the words sunk in and I got choked up and started to cry. My friend's daughter was looking at me, and I didn't want to scare her, so I started talking about how my three girls were inside and ready to play with her. I stayed on the verge of tears for a few more minutes, but tried not to focus on something uttered by a complete moron.
So to this moron I would like to say: You're right. No one wanted them. That's what made them orphans. How astute of you to point that out. I would love to have talked with you and enlightened you on what we are trying to do, but since you shouted it out your car window like a COWARD and drove off, I can't. I can't ask you what your problem is. I can't explain their plight. I can't explain that it's people like you that are the reason there are so many orphans in the world today. Do you feel better now you mocked an orphan? Do you know they are God's special children? Do you know are worse off than my Ksenija, who you ridiculed?! You think they are worthless; but they aren't. You are. And not only are you a COWARD for doing a drive by mocking, you are STUPID as well because you have a custom plate on your car, and we all saw it.
But someone wants these kids now- they are still orphans, but they are wanted. They are loved. They are prayed for. Their pictures are printed and on refrigerators. And in July we will hug them and kiss them and bring them home.
And you will, most likely, still be a walking-talking-waste-of-air TURD.
The Three Dogs ~By Jadyn
One of the last papers Jadyn did for her first grade school year asked her to write a story about dogs. I told her it had to be at least 3 sentences.
Here is what she wrote:
The Three Dogs
Otis is fun. Otis has puppy power to bark.
Gus is big. He is fun to. Lucy is cute.
She likes to play tug of war.
By Jadyn
(Otis and Gus are dogs belonging to my sisters and Lucy belongs to her grandparents.)
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Snags, Bottom Lines and Cows
So we hit alittle bit of a snag this week. I got an email Thursday saying that there was a snag with the paperwork for our hosting (well, us and the Helf's kids) and the needed papers weren't going to get to Latvia in time for the orphan court's deadline. There is some rule about they have to have the paperwork 30 days before it needs to be acted on, or something like that. I'm a bit confused, but the bottom line is that our papers and the Helf's papers won't get there in time.
What does that mean? Well, I stopped breathing for a few moments while I kept reading the email. I had a heart stopping panic that I was about to be told that K wasn't going to be able to be hosted til Christmas. But 'all' it means is that she won't get here until mid-July instead of June 28th.
They are being great and letting her come later and stay until late August so that she can still be here for about 5 weeks. I'm grateful her trip won't be cut short. I'm grateful that she's still coming. I'm grateful she can fly with two other kids so maybe the plane ride won't seem so boring/long/scary. I'm bummed her visit won't overlap my sister's visit so they could meet. I'm bummed she will miss the 4th of July. I'm bummed I have to wait longer to hug her and I'm really bummed she has to wait longer to get here.
I am trying to look at the bright side and adjust my 'plans'. The bottom line is she is still coming and we will still have a great time. The delay will give us extra time to fund raise and find her clothes. By the time she gets here, hopefully there will be a lot of summer clearance already and good sales because of back to school. Also? Our county will be back in school for the last few weeks of her visit, so places will be less crowded. Having 4 kids in a crowded bounce house place just about makes me a nervous wreck, LOL.
And....we are still fundraising. The last 2 weekends we have done a yard sale at our house. We had LOTS of things donated (because our friends are awesome) and my garage is still full. This weekend our whole neighborhood is having a yard sale, so we will do 'take 3' on Sat.
But the neatest thing is that THIS TUESDAY, MAY 31ST we are doing a Spirit Night at the Chick Fil A in Loganville. We will get 20% of all receipts that are turned in. One of us will also be standing at the drive through collecting receipts, so if you are in the area and just want to grab dinner on your way by, you still will be helping us out. We will be there 5-8pm, and I'm sure to be all jacked up on their lemonade, so it will be a great night to stop by.
Still hate that dressed up cow, though.
**shudders**
What does that mean? Well, I stopped breathing for a few moments while I kept reading the email. I had a heart stopping panic that I was about to be told that K wasn't going to be able to be hosted til Christmas. But 'all' it means is that she won't get here until mid-July instead of June 28th.
They are being great and letting her come later and stay until late August so that she can still be here for about 5 weeks. I'm grateful her trip won't be cut short. I'm grateful that she's still coming. I'm grateful she can fly with two other kids so maybe the plane ride won't seem so boring/long/scary. I'm bummed her visit won't overlap my sister's visit so they could meet. I'm bummed she will miss the 4th of July. I'm bummed I have to wait longer to hug her and I'm really bummed she has to wait longer to get here.
I am trying to look at the bright side and adjust my 'plans'. The bottom line is she is still coming and we will still have a great time. The delay will give us extra time to fund raise and find her clothes. By the time she gets here, hopefully there will be a lot of summer clearance already and good sales because of back to school. Also? Our county will be back in school for the last few weeks of her visit, so places will be less crowded. Having 4 kids in a crowded bounce house place just about makes me a nervous wreck, LOL.
And....we are still fundraising. The last 2 weekends we have done a yard sale at our house. We had LOTS of things donated (because our friends are awesome) and my garage is still full. This weekend our whole neighborhood is having a yard sale, so we will do 'take 3' on Sat.
But the neatest thing is that THIS TUESDAY, MAY 31ST we are doing a Spirit Night at the Chick Fil A in Loganville. We will get 20% of all receipts that are turned in. One of us will also be standing at the drive through collecting receipts, so if you are in the area and just want to grab dinner on your way by, you still will be helping us out. We will be there 5-8pm, and I'm sure to be all jacked up on their lemonade, so it will be a great night to stop by.
Still hate that dressed up cow, though.
**shudders**
Monday, May 16, 2011
I'm Guessing Boys Aren't Allowed?
I just got done teaching my oldest about some island countries (Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands and the Bahamas). Her book just kind of hit the highlights of these places. I decided on a whim it'd be fun to let her make/design her own island. She drew a map and actually made hers a chain of islands.Then I had her answer different questions about her 'new country'.
So welcome to the Color Islands, where the main language is 'cute hippo'. They are an independent nation, and export butterflies and ladybugs. It is HOT half the year and cold and snowy the other half. Mostly they eat pineapples, pineapple milk (?), carrots and seaweed.
Pretty sure this is the Girliest. Island. Ever.
So welcome to the Color Islands, where the main language is 'cute hippo'. They are an independent nation, and export butterflies and ladybugs. It is HOT half the year and cold and snowy the other half. Mostly they eat pineapples, pineapple milk (?), carrots and seaweed.
Pretty sure this is the Girliest. Island. Ever.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Banana Bread and Frozen 'Yogurt'
The past several weeks we have been given a case of bananas a week. My kids could live off bananas, but even as much as they enjoy them, we haven't been able to eat them as fast as we need to before they get funky. I don't ever post my recipes, mostly because I feel like no one cares and/or there are SO many on the Internet that mine would be just 'white noise'. I also don't really think my recipes are special enough to warrant their own post.
However, I make a really good banana bread (from a recipe I found on-line), so I am going to share that. Also, tonight I made a fruity frozen yogurt that is REALLY good, so I'll post that as well. The problem with the FFY recipe is that there is no solid measures for anything I used. I'll just tell you what I put in it, and what I did to the ingredients, and you will have to add more or less depending on your personal preferences.
Fruity Frozen Yogurt:
*fresh sliced pineapple (I used maybe 1/4 of a pineapple and then food processed the HECK out of it)
*(4) bananas (more blender action)
*low fat vanilla yogurt (blend)
*about 1/4 cup (mango) juice (we want to try it with apple or orange juice next though)
*blend
*transfer to something you can freeze it in (if you can resist the urge to stick a straw in it and call it a smoothie, that is!)
Banana Bread
*1 cup sugar
*1 stick of butter (unsalted)
*2 large eggs
*3 bananas
*1 tbl spoon milk
*1 tsp ground cinnamon
*2 cups all purpose flour
*1 tsp baking powder
*1 tsp baking soda
*1 tsp salt
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Butter/spray a 9x5x3 in pan
Cream the sugar and butter in a large mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well.
In a small bowl, mash the bananas with a fork. Mix in the milk and cin. In another bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
Add bananas to the creamy mixture and stir until combined. Add the dry ingredients, mixing just until flour disappears.
Pour batter into prepared pan and bake 1 hour to 1 hour 10 minutes. Set aside to cool for 15 min. Remove bread from pan, invert onto rack and cool completely before slicing. (Or just leave it in the pan like I do and serve it from there.....)
I actually put it in a bigger dish than it calls for and it bakes faster. I also think this makes a totally acceptable breakfast item. I think it makes a great after blogging snack, too, and LUCKY ME, there's some fresh out of the oven!
However, I make a really good banana bread (from a recipe I found on-line), so I am going to share that. Also, tonight I made a fruity frozen yogurt that is REALLY good, so I'll post that as well. The problem with the FFY recipe is that there is no solid measures for anything I used. I'll just tell you what I put in it, and what I did to the ingredients, and you will have to add more or less depending on your personal preferences.
Fruity Frozen Yogurt:
*fresh sliced pineapple (I used maybe 1/4 of a pineapple and then food processed the HECK out of it)
*(4) bananas (more blender action)
*low fat vanilla yogurt (blend)
*about 1/4 cup (mango) juice (we want to try it with apple or orange juice next though)
*blend
*transfer to something you can freeze it in (if you can resist the urge to stick a straw in it and call it a smoothie, that is!)
Banana Bread
*1 cup sugar
*1 stick of butter (unsalted)
*2 large eggs
*3 bananas
*1 tbl spoon milk
*1 tsp ground cinnamon
*2 cups all purpose flour
*1 tsp baking powder
*1 tsp baking soda
*1 tsp salt
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Butter/spray a 9x5x3 in pan
Cream the sugar and butter in a large mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well.
In a small bowl, mash the bananas with a fork. Mix in the milk and cin. In another bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
Add bananas to the creamy mixture and stir until combined. Add the dry ingredients, mixing just until flour disappears.
Pour batter into prepared pan and bake 1 hour to 1 hour 10 minutes. Set aside to cool for 15 min. Remove bread from pan, invert onto rack and cool completely before slicing. (Or just leave it in the pan like I do and serve it from there.....)
I actually put it in a bigger dish than it calls for and it bakes faster. I also think this makes a totally acceptable breakfast item. I think it makes a great after blogging snack, too, and LUCKY ME, there's some fresh out of the oven!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Manners? Not so much........
So this weekend we noticed something (and I am being 'real' here): our kids have pretty bad table manners. I don't know if they were good, and they took a turn for bad, or if they have been bad all along and it's just obvious now because they are older. I'm not sure I want to know.
In the efforts to improve their manners, we are doing two things. One is, we read the 'manners' section in one of Jadyn's school books. Two: we wrote down all the table manners we could think of, and then I let the kids cut them out, so that there was one per piece of paper. We put all the slips of paper in a cup and each night at dinner we will pull out one and work on that specific manner all through the meal. Then we'll keep going through all the manners until they have all been worked on. I'm sure we'll have to go through them all a few times to really 'get it'.
If we are only working on one at a time, I am hoping it will sink in deeper and faster. I also hope it will help me and Gabe not NAG at them the entire meal, since it's just one rule. Because really who wants to be nagged at the whole meal. And Gabe and I would like to eat and not be the Manner Nazis.
If anyone wants to weigh in on this, feel free. And if you want to take this idea, please do.
I'll let ya know how it goes!
In the efforts to improve their manners, we are doing two things. One is, we read the 'manners' section in one of Jadyn's school books. Two: we wrote down all the table manners we could think of, and then I let the kids cut them out, so that there was one per piece of paper. We put all the slips of paper in a cup and each night at dinner we will pull out one and work on that specific manner all through the meal. Then we'll keep going through all the manners until they have all been worked on. I'm sure we'll have to go through them all a few times to really 'get it'.
If we are only working on one at a time, I am hoping it will sink in deeper and faster. I also hope it will help me and Gabe not NAG at them the entire meal, since it's just one rule. Because really who wants to be nagged at the whole meal. And Gabe and I would like to eat and not be the Manner Nazis.
If anyone wants to weigh in on this, feel free. And if you want to take this idea, please do.
I'll let ya know how it goes!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ten Unsucky Things
I have a friend that when she is in a bad mood or having a bad day, instead of posting her crappy news on Facebook (like I do) she writes a quick list of things that are good.
My last two days have sucked. So I will write a list of TEN THINGS that DO NOT SUCK.
1.) I learned how to make mocha frapachinos that taste (almost) as good as Starbucks. They are delicious and way cheaper AND I dislike ice, so I can make it with just a LITTLE bit of ice. (Which means that I can fit more in my cup. In yo' face, Starbucks.)
2.) My shoulders are almost done peeling.
3.) When I had to call to make Hootie's drs appt, they were able to get me a 9:15 appt (they open at 9) and I was outta there by 10.
4.) There were already summer clothes on clearance at WalMart that I was able to get for Ksenija. For less than $25, I was able to get her 3 REALLY cute shirts and 2 pairs of shorts.
5.) My oldest actually put away laundry. And some of it wasn't even hers!
6.) The soccer coach told me that Bean has 'natural talent' for soccer.
7.) I haven't killed the Gerbra Daisies that are by my front door.
8.) We are almost done with our school year.
9.) There was a $5 off coupon for the vet's office online, making the Rabies shot less painful for the wallet. Can't say the same for the cat, though.....
10.) My hubby has made a bunch of calls for me today so I don't have to do it.....
So there's my list of things, and I do feel slightly better. I'm probably going to have to make another list when I get back from the vet (because nothing says FUN like 3 kids and a cat at the vet).
And the cat for sure will need to make one...............................
My last two days have sucked. So I will write a list of TEN THINGS that DO NOT SUCK.
1.) I learned how to make mocha frapachinos that taste (almost) as good as Starbucks. They are delicious and way cheaper AND I dislike ice, so I can make it with just a LITTLE bit of ice. (Which means that I can fit more in my cup. In yo' face, Starbucks.)
2.) My shoulders are almost done peeling.
3.) When I had to call to make Hootie's drs appt, they were able to get me a 9:15 appt (they open at 9) and I was outta there by 10.
4.) There were already summer clothes on clearance at WalMart that I was able to get for Ksenija. For less than $25, I was able to get her 3 REALLY cute shirts and 2 pairs of shorts.
5.) My oldest actually put away laundry. And some of it wasn't even hers!
6.) The soccer coach told me that Bean has 'natural talent' for soccer.
7.) I haven't killed the Gerbra Daisies that are by my front door.
8.) We are almost done with our school year.
9.) There was a $5 off coupon for the vet's office online, making the Rabies shot less painful for the wallet. Can't say the same for the cat, though.....
10.) My hubby has made a bunch of calls for me today so I don't have to do it.....
So there's my list of things, and I do feel slightly better. I'm probably going to have to make another list when I get back from the vet (because nothing says FUN like 3 kids and a cat at the vet).
And the cat for sure will need to make one...............................
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Mother's Day Thoughts
I have been thinking the last couple of weeks about Mother's Day and what to get/do for my mom and my mother-in-law. Which led me to think about my own kids and what they will remember about me as their mom.
Then I thought about Ksenija who were are hosting from Latvia this summer. Does she remember her mom? Are they good memories? Was she loved and wanted? I thought about N who we hosted last summer who has admitted anger at her birthmother and how she never wants to be like her. And I thought about Oksana, who in broken English explained, "My momma, bleh (thumbs down). You momma, yes (thumbs up)." Her mom did nothing as they were taken away and never tried to get them back. And now these are the mothers they have to remember.
I am asking you to consider something. Instead of purchasing something for your mom, that you don't know if she'll like, wear, watch, use, enjoy, want or need.....donate to Ksenija's hosting fund. In honor of your mom and all she did for you, you can help this eleven year old without a momma.
If you donate any amount by Thursday, May 5th at 12pm, I will send you a wallet sized picture of Ksenija to put in your Mother's Day card so your mom can see the face of the child that was helped in her name. (To donate, please use the Paypal button at the top, right hand side of the blog.)
Personally, I think that's a pretty cool thing. Investing in someone's life will never fade, break, tear, wilt or go out of style!
Then I thought about Ksenija who were are hosting from Latvia this summer. Does she remember her mom? Are they good memories? Was she loved and wanted? I thought about N who we hosted last summer who has admitted anger at her birthmother and how she never wants to be like her. And I thought about Oksana, who in broken English explained, "My momma, bleh (thumbs down). You momma, yes (thumbs up)." Her mom did nothing as they were taken away and never tried to get them back. And now these are the mothers they have to remember.
I am asking you to consider something. Instead of purchasing something for your mom, that you don't know if she'll like, wear, watch, use, enjoy, want or need.....donate to Ksenija's hosting fund. In honor of your mom and all she did for you, you can help this eleven year old without a momma.
If you donate any amount by Thursday, May 5th at 12pm, I will send you a wallet sized picture of Ksenija to put in your Mother's Day card so your mom can see the face of the child that was helped in her name. (To donate, please use the Paypal button at the top, right hand side of the blog.)
Personally, I think that's a pretty cool thing. Investing in someone's life will never fade, break, tear, wilt or go out of style!
Acts 20:35
".....remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Dear Lila, Please return to Sender. Thanks, Your Cousin
My youngest daughter is three. She will be four on October 5th. My oldest gave up her paci at 11 mos and all naps just after her 3rd birthday. My second born gave up pacis around just before she was 2 and all naps around her 3rd birthday. Hootie hasn't had a paci at night or any other time in months and months. But I kept 2 and let her have one at nap time. She has napped longer, but had her paci longer than her sisters.
I noticed her front teeth were starting to shift and she was going to end up looking like a beaver or a mouse if she had her paci for too much longer. While she is napping with her paci, the older two and I watch movies. Well, OK, they watch them while I try to sleep on the couch with them climbing on me. But still, usually I can sleep or doze at least 20 minutes. Just enough to recharge and make it through their bedtime.
Her naps are over. My last bebe has moved on. It's time, and after a while I will enjoy the freedom. I will figure out to go to bed earlier. And between now and then I will have to deal with her meltdowns at the dinner table and in the bath because she is in that awkward stage where she is tired but too old to nap without beign up til 11 o'clock.
And maybe the hubs will learn how to handle MY meltdowns at dinner, too.....
I noticed her front teeth were starting to shift and she was going to end up looking like a beaver or a mouse if she had her paci for too much longer. While she is napping with her paci, the older two and I watch movies. Well, OK, they watch them while I try to sleep on the couch with them climbing on me. But still, usually I can sleep or doze at least 20 minutes. Just enough to recharge and make it through their bedtime.
So Monday of this week at naptime, I told Hootie that this was her last nap with her paci. I asked if she wanted to mail her pacis to AZ for her baby cousin, and she was very excited about that idea. So Tuesday morning, she drew a picture, took one last suck on her beloved pacis and dropped them in the envelope. We wrote 'LILA' on the outside and stuck it in the mailbox. She put up the flag, and told her pacis to have a nice trip. She skipped back into the house, happy as a clam.
Nap time rolls around. She gets her blankies and heads to her bed. She lasted 15 minutes before she came out and announced she was done 'sleeping'.
Today at nap time, I gathered her blankies and she looks and me and says, "I want to stay out there with you." Oh, snap. I guess the glorious paci made it worth missing the movie time. I told her it was too bad- she needed to rest. To which she said, "Well, then, you better find me a paci." "There are no more; you mailed it to Baby Lila." At this point she just growled at me and flopped on her pillow. I turned on her CD player and ran from left the room.
Five minutes later, Hootie walked out. "I can't nap without my paci. I'll just watch a movie with you guys."
And maybe the hubs will learn how to handle MY meltdowns at dinner, too.....
 |
| I just couldn't pay for 2 years in braces because I just HAD to nap...... |
Monday, April 18, 2011
One day I'll have to delete this, or hide it REALLY well..........
I feel like I am always blogging about my middle child. One day, when she is not 5 and is online and can, ya know, READ, I'll have to delete most of this I suppose. Until then, I will enjoy having somewhere to rant about the challenge that is parenting the Bean. I am also hoping that someone else will read this, and say, "Oh, girl. I have to do the saaaame things with my daughter."
First of all, I give up getting her to stay in bed all night. Thanks to our new BFF melatonin, she is now falling asleep with less jerking, twitching and tossing. Like 30 min less. And to be honest, most nights I don't even mind sitting with her while she goes to sleep. She's a good cuddler. And she makes really cute faces when she catches me peeking at her to see if she is awake or not. (And in case you're wondering, I DID try the Super Nanny method. To the letter. And I am convinced that even Super Nanny herself couldn't get it to work on Bean. And if she reads this and wants to try, she's welcome to my home.)
But I digress......she goes to sleep, but she doesn't stay there. And when she wakes up, she does try to fall back asleep, can't, and then gets in bed with me. I have tried charts, bribes and begging. I just tell myself that if I were in Europe, this would be normal. So I give up. Maybe when she's 18 and she's still coming into our room, I'll get her professional help. Until then, I'll just be grateful we now have a king sized bed.
So there's the update on sleeping. Oh, rooming alone was a great idea, but didn't help either. It helped my friend's child who is A LOT like ours, so there must be truth to the idea somewhere.....
The other thing that has been a source of challenge for us lately has been her playing soccer. She begged for a year to play, and I didn't sign her up last spring because I didn't feel like she was ready. She was still having a lot of anxiety, and Gabe and I both felt like it would be setting her up to fail. This spring, we thought she was ready.
She will not go out on the field without me. Period. She cries, shakes, gets clammy, the whole 9 yards. And it's not like the dropping her off at her church class where she gets over me leaving in less than 30 secs. I guess because there is more going on and more people 'looking' at her, so the pressure is more than she can bear. It's a terrible thing to see. I really feel awful for her. Her coaches are soooo nice and always give her lots of encouragement. And they are okay with me being on the field WITH her. As in running up and down the field during practices AND games. The first game Beanie had a death grip on my hand, and I really thought she was going to crack my little finger. She has eased up a bit and now I can just be near her but as SOON as the play is over, WHAM, back to my side she comes.
We considered dropping out, but she REALLY likes it. She gets excited about her games and begs me to play soccer with her at home. And she's actually pretty good when she is focused on the game and not upset that I am not as close as she wants.
And I'm going to be honest here. I hate being out there with her. I feel out of place and like the other parents must think I am over bearing or over protective or both. It's embarrassing, honestly. It's the feeling you get when your kid has a meltdown in public and other moms are watching (and probably judging), but it lasts for 45 min. Every game I pray I won't have to go out there with her. But I do. And tonight she was in a terrible mood/funk, and wanted me to hold her hand. Being close wasn't enough. I try and be nimble and get out of the kids' way (and I NEVER kick the ball or interfere), but I tried to scoot one way and she stayed put and we managed to clothes-line a couple of kids from the other team. It was awkward.....
During Saturdays game, I tried every trick in the book to help her be calm. I let her spin, I squeezed her (where she thinks it's a big, silly bear hug but really I am trying to put pressure over her whole body) and while she was drinking water waiting to play I squeezed a pressure point on her hand. (I have no real proof that helps anyone other than my kid, but I can tell it helps her chillax.) Nothing. It helped for about 15 seconds and then she was back to her borderline panic.
So I am at a loss. All I can do is what I know to do and pray one day she will be past this. I'm grateful every day that her issues aren't worse. And I'm pretty sure if I couldn't home school her, she'd be on medication. And I hope one day she will look back and think "Wow. My mom did that? How cool is she?!"
That will be about the time I have to delete my blogs ;-)
First of all, I give up getting her to stay in bed all night. Thanks to our new BFF melatonin, she is now falling asleep with less jerking, twitching and tossing. Like 30 min less. And to be honest, most nights I don't even mind sitting with her while she goes to sleep. She's a good cuddler. And she makes really cute faces when she catches me peeking at her to see if she is awake or not. (And in case you're wondering, I DID try the Super Nanny method. To the letter. And I am convinced that even Super Nanny herself couldn't get it to work on Bean. And if she reads this and wants to try, she's welcome to my home.)
But I digress......she goes to sleep, but she doesn't stay there. And when she wakes up, she does try to fall back asleep, can't, and then gets in bed with me. I have tried charts, bribes and begging. I just tell myself that if I were in Europe, this would be normal. So I give up. Maybe when she's 18 and she's still coming into our room, I'll get her professional help. Until then, I'll just be grateful we now have a king sized bed.
So there's the update on sleeping. Oh, rooming alone was a great idea, but didn't help either. It helped my friend's child who is A LOT like ours, so there must be truth to the idea somewhere.....
The other thing that has been a source of challenge for us lately has been her playing soccer. She begged for a year to play, and I didn't sign her up last spring because I didn't feel like she was ready. She was still having a lot of anxiety, and Gabe and I both felt like it would be setting her up to fail. This spring, we thought she was ready.
She will not go out on the field without me. Period. She cries, shakes, gets clammy, the whole 9 yards. And it's not like the dropping her off at her church class where she gets over me leaving in less than 30 secs. I guess because there is more going on and more people 'looking' at her, so the pressure is more than she can bear. It's a terrible thing to see. I really feel awful for her. Her coaches are soooo nice and always give her lots of encouragement. And they are okay with me being on the field WITH her. As in running up and down the field during practices AND games. The first game Beanie had a death grip on my hand, and I really thought she was going to crack my little finger. She has eased up a bit and now I can just be near her but as SOON as the play is over, WHAM, back to my side she comes.
We considered dropping out, but she REALLY likes it. She gets excited about her games and begs me to play soccer with her at home. And she's actually pretty good when she is focused on the game and not upset that I am not as close as she wants.
And I'm going to be honest here. I hate being out there with her. I feel out of place and like the other parents must think I am over bearing or over protective or both. It's embarrassing, honestly. It's the feeling you get when your kid has a meltdown in public and other moms are watching (and probably judging), but it lasts for 45 min. Every game I pray I won't have to go out there with her. But I do. And tonight she was in a terrible mood/funk, and wanted me to hold her hand. Being close wasn't enough. I try and be nimble and get out of the kids' way (and I NEVER kick the ball or interfere), but I tried to scoot one way and she stayed put and we managed to clothes-line a couple of kids from the other team. It was awkward.....
During Saturdays game, I tried every trick in the book to help her be calm. I let her spin, I squeezed her (where she thinks it's a big, silly bear hug but really I am trying to put pressure over her whole body) and while she was drinking water waiting to play I squeezed a pressure point on her hand. (I have no real proof that helps anyone other than my kid, but I can tell it helps her chillax.) Nothing. It helped for about 15 seconds and then she was back to her borderline panic.
So I am at a loss. All I can do is what I know to do and pray one day she will be past this. I'm grateful every day that her issues aren't worse. And I'm pretty sure if I couldn't home school her, she'd be on medication. And I hope one day she will look back and think "Wow. My mom did that? How cool is she?!"
That will be about the time I have to delete my blogs ;-)
Monday, April 11, 2011
Clingy *MAY* be a Understatement
In the days since the giveaway fundraiser has ended, I have found myself thinking more and more about Ksenjia. I have reexamined all the pictures my friends took on their mission trip of her. I learned when her birthday is (mid March) and what her last name is. I can't pronounce it, but I know it, lol. All these things make her more real to me.
But what am I to her? She has no idea there is a family 4,000 miles away trying to raise the money to get her here. She asked my friends what it would take for her to come to a family, but she has no idea that we are working on 'what it takes' to get her here, even if it is just 5 weeks. Her life hasn't changed- she is still hoping and praying someone will love her. She doesn't know someone does- not yet. They won't tell her until the last minute that there is a family in America she can go to for the summer. That's still several weeks of not knowing! And when you're 11, it's got to seem longer.
I have been told that she loves to be hugged. Craves it. So I am expecting her to be somewhat clingy and affectionate once she realizes that it's okay to be that way. She has a lifetime of hugging to make up for, and I intend to put a dent in that deficit! All my kids are affectionate and, um, clingy-ish. Okay, honestly, if one of them could surgically attach herself to me, she would. Her love language is physical touch/quality time and as one of my friends wrote about her own daughter "her love tank has a perpetual leak". Which fits my middle child. To. The. Letter.
So tonight I started laying the ground work for the change that is coming. Translation: I began to warn my needy one that there is one coming who is even needier, and she is going to have to buck up and share me. It went over really well. I brought it up casually as I was helping her with her jammies. It seemed to click. Seemed to click so much that after we all prayed and started to head for beds, she said, "Mom, you can go. Dad can snuggle with me tonight." I thought I was in the wrong house. Then I thought once G laid down with her to help her go to sleep, she would change her mind, but she didn't. Wow.
We'll see how other talks go, but it was a huge relief that at least the initial talk went so well. In the meantime, I'll pray and hope the next few weeks go by really quickly for Ksenjia, and that God starts to prepare her for our family, and our family for her.
But what am I to her? She has no idea there is a family 4,000 miles away trying to raise the money to get her here. She asked my friends what it would take for her to come to a family, but she has no idea that we are working on 'what it takes' to get her here, even if it is just 5 weeks. Her life hasn't changed- she is still hoping and praying someone will love her. She doesn't know someone does- not yet. They won't tell her until the last minute that there is a family in America she can go to for the summer. That's still several weeks of not knowing! And when you're 11, it's got to seem longer.
I have been told that she loves to be hugged. Craves it. So I am expecting her to be somewhat clingy and affectionate once she realizes that it's okay to be that way. She has a lifetime of hugging to make up for, and I intend to put a dent in that deficit! All my kids are affectionate and, um, clingy-ish. Okay, honestly, if one of them could surgically attach herself to me, she would. Her love language is physical touch/quality time and as one of my friends wrote about her own daughter "her love tank has a perpetual leak". Which fits my middle child. To. The. Letter.
So tonight I started laying the ground work for the change that is coming. Translation: I began to warn my needy one that there is one coming who is even needier, and she is going to have to buck up and share me. It went over really well. I brought it up casually as I was helping her with her jammies. It seemed to click. Seemed to click so much that after we all prayed and started to head for beds, she said, "Mom, you can go. Dad can snuggle with me tonight." I thought I was in the wrong house. Then I thought once G laid down with her to help her go to sleep, she would change her mind, but she didn't. Wow.
We'll see how other talks go, but it was a huge relief that at least the initial talk went so well. In the meantime, I'll pray and hope the next few weeks go by really quickly for Ksenjia, and that God starts to prepare her for our family, and our family for her.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Giveaway Winners
This giveaway has been a joint effort (us and the Helf's) from the start.....and tonight we jointly did the drawing (with random.org) before we even ate dinner together! Brooke H. and I were so nervous/excited, we were shaking and I thought I might throw up, LOL!
We have each learned a lot of personal lessons through this giveaway, and we have seen so many people give when it would have been just as easy not to give. Times are tight, and we have truely appreciate each and every donation, prayer and repost. So from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you. And on behalf of J, M and K who will be here this summer, we thank you.
And so the winners are:
Amazon Gift Card ($20) - Joanne Reddell
Hair bows by Doodlebug Boutique - Kayla McDermitt
Kohls Gift Card ($75) - Sara Jones
IPAD2 - Leslie Popelier
We raised almost $3000 on behalf of hosting the kids, and we are thrilled. Again, HUGE thanks to everybody!!!!
We have each learned a lot of personal lessons through this giveaway, and we have seen so many people give when it would have been just as easy not to give. Times are tight, and we have truely appreciate each and every donation, prayer and repost. So from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you. And on behalf of J, M and K who will be here this summer, we thank you.
And so the winners are:
Amazon Gift Card ($20) - Joanne Reddell
Hair bows by Doodlebug Boutique - Kayla McDermitt
Kohls Gift Card ($75) - Sara Jones
IPAD2 - Leslie Popelier
We raised almost $3000 on behalf of hosting the kids, and we are thrilled. Again, HUGE thanks to everybody!!!!
Matt 25:40
"And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'
Monday, April 4, 2011
Got the Word- Woot Woot!
Today we got the official word that we will be able to host the little girl that we had our friend met on his mission trip!
She is eleven, has no siblings and plays the accordion. She has a lot of hurt, and is aching for love and attention. Please pray for her (and us) as we prepare to bring her here the end of June.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Summer Hosting Update!
Alrighty- I promised a hosting update, although for now I can only give you a partial update.
Even though we will STILL BE HOSTING THIS SUMMER, we will NOT be hosting the girl we told you about. It is a really long and kind of complicated story, and I can't really go into all of it. The bottom line is, she is being pursued for adoption by a family from the northeast, and that means they will need to be her hosting family this summer. They already know they're adopting her, so her spending her summer with us would be pointless- she needs to be with what will be her forever family.
While her forever family was learning about her, we were (by the hand of God) learning about another child. Her story broke my heart, and even though she wasn't even on the original hosting 'roster', we felt like we were lead to her to host her this summer. This was all confusing to me, because we had already agreed to host Alina. I thought maybe we were supposed to host both girls, althought I had NO idea how in the world that was going to happen, or where everyone would fit, or sleep or ride!
Turns out we can just host one, and it will be the 'grace child' we learned about on Wednesday. I am confident enough to announce that, but I don't want to put a picture or name up until later.
Please continue to pray for 'A' and her new family- they have a lot to work through and hurdles to jump through, and please pray for our 'new' girl, that all the details will continue to work out.
And of course, if you want to donate or repost about our fundraiser/giveaway, that would be an awesome help also!
Even though we will STILL BE HOSTING THIS SUMMER, we will NOT be hosting the girl we told you about. It is a really long and kind of complicated story, and I can't really go into all of it. The bottom line is, she is being pursued for adoption by a family from the northeast, and that means they will need to be her hosting family this summer. They already know they're adopting her, so her spending her summer with us would be pointless- she needs to be with what will be her forever family.
While her forever family was learning about her, we were (by the hand of God) learning about another child. Her story broke my heart, and even though she wasn't even on the original hosting 'roster', we felt like we were lead to her to host her this summer. This was all confusing to me, because we had already agreed to host Alina. I thought maybe we were supposed to host both girls, althought I had NO idea how in the world that was going to happen, or where everyone would fit, or sleep or ride!
Turns out we can just host one, and it will be the 'grace child' we learned about on Wednesday. I am confident enough to announce that, but I don't want to put a picture or name up until later.
Please continue to pray for 'A' and her new family- they have a lot to work through and hurdles to jump through, and please pray for our 'new' girl, that all the details will continue to work out.
And of course, if you want to donate or repost about our fundraiser/giveaway, that would be an awesome help also!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Pardon Me While I Rant
Ok. I need to rant. And if this post annoys you, then I'm sorry, but I really need to say this. And this really has nothing to do with our fundraiser other than the topic is orphans.
I really had not thought much about fostering or adopting up until a few years ago. I looked at adoption as a way that infertile couples got their children. I worked with a lady about 9 years ago who was a foster mom. And a pretty awesome one at that. That started my wheels turning. There were a few other things that made me think, "Well, one day I will foster or adopt" but it generally revolved around if I could not have children.
But I can have children and I now have three. They are 6, 5 and 3 1/2. And in 2008 we heard about internationally hosting an orphan. I took a "I'm going to wait and see how THIS goes" approach. I honestly thought the whole thing was kind of weird and Gee, they were going to have to send that poor little boy back to his Russian orphanage. That hardly seems fair to him. I have even had people say that to me about the ones we have hosted, and they have used it as a reason for them not to host.
"I can't do that. It just seems so unfair."
Unfair.
Let's talk about unfair. Unfair is not having a mom to rock you at night, or mend your clothes, or help you with homework. Unfair is a dad that leaves your family, or beats you, or dies right infront of you because he is POISENED by his boss when they can no longer pay him (that really happened, by the way). Unfair is watching your drunk mother chose to buy more alchohol instead of paying for your home to be heated, and watch her do nothing as you and your brother are carted away to a orphange, and then she keeps doing nothing for the next 4 1/2 years while you wait for her everyday. Unfair is knowing she died never coming to see you and you never get to say goodbye or even go to her funeral. Unfair is being brought before a possible adoptive family and they reject you because you are 'too ugly'. Unfair is going to bed hungry and scared and sad and NO ONE to care. Unfair is being picked on at school because you're an orphan and having the teacher look the other way instead of help. Unfair is being brainwashed and told you're worthless. Unfair is literally being dumped on the streets when you're 16 and being left on your own. It's no wonder so many take their own lives or turn to drugs and repeat the cycle.
And it's unfair that once you are older than 5, you have an almost ZERO chance of getting adopted.
These kids have already dealt with more unfair than most of our brains can comprehend. Once these kids come over and are hosted, they have an almost 70% chance of being adopted. People don't want older kids because they are more intimidating, too hard to 'train' or come with too much baggage. But when people actually MEET these kids, those misconceptions fade. They can see the children for what they are- children.
When I heard that the statics go from almost nothing to an almost 70% chance at getting a family, I knew I had to host. Gabe agreed. I HAD to give someone that chance; I had to fight for them. If it were MY child, I would want someone to fight for them if I couldn't. They deserve it. They can't fight for themselves; they have no voice; they have no real options. They need US to advocate for them.
It's expensive. It's inconvient. It's exhausting. It's uncomfortable. But it's not about us- not even a little bit. It's about them and showing them the love of a Father that will never leave them or forsake them. There's a lot of great things too- it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, for starters. I love loving kids that have no one to love them. And I can't wait to hug Alina this summer, either. I hope she comes ready to be bear hugged to the moon and back.
So if you're one of the ones that want to host, but you just think "it's just not fair to the child", PLEASE think again. YOU might be the one to turn that child's life around!
I really had not thought much about fostering or adopting up until a few years ago. I looked at adoption as a way that infertile couples got their children. I worked with a lady about 9 years ago who was a foster mom. And a pretty awesome one at that. That started my wheels turning. There were a few other things that made me think, "Well, one day I will foster or adopt" but it generally revolved around if I could not have children.
But I can have children and I now have three. They are 6, 5 and 3 1/2. And in 2008 we heard about internationally hosting an orphan. I took a "I'm going to wait and see how THIS goes" approach. I honestly thought the whole thing was kind of weird and Gee, they were going to have to send that poor little boy back to his Russian orphanage. That hardly seems fair to him. I have even had people say that to me about the ones we have hosted, and they have used it as a reason for them not to host.
"I can't do that. It just seems so unfair."
Unfair.
Let's talk about unfair. Unfair is not having a mom to rock you at night, or mend your clothes, or help you with homework. Unfair is a dad that leaves your family, or beats you, or dies right infront of you because he is POISENED by his boss when they can no longer pay him (that really happened, by the way). Unfair is watching your drunk mother chose to buy more alchohol instead of paying for your home to be heated, and watch her do nothing as you and your brother are carted away to a orphange, and then she keeps doing nothing for the next 4 1/2 years while you wait for her everyday. Unfair is knowing she died never coming to see you and you never get to say goodbye or even go to her funeral. Unfair is being brought before a possible adoptive family and they reject you because you are 'too ugly'. Unfair is going to bed hungry and scared and sad and NO ONE to care. Unfair is being picked on at school because you're an orphan and having the teacher look the other way instead of help. Unfair is being brainwashed and told you're worthless. Unfair is literally being dumped on the streets when you're 16 and being left on your own. It's no wonder so many take their own lives or turn to drugs and repeat the cycle.
And it's unfair that once you are older than 5, you have an almost ZERO chance of getting adopted.
These kids have already dealt with more unfair than most of our brains can comprehend. Once these kids come over and are hosted, they have an almost 70% chance of being adopted. People don't want older kids because they are more intimidating, too hard to 'train' or come with too much baggage. But when people actually MEET these kids, those misconceptions fade. They can see the children for what they are- children.
When I heard that the statics go from almost nothing to an almost 70% chance at getting a family, I knew I had to host. Gabe agreed. I HAD to give someone that chance; I had to fight for them. If it were MY child, I would want someone to fight for them if I couldn't. They deserve it. They can't fight for themselves; they have no voice; they have no real options. They need US to advocate for them.
It's expensive. It's inconvient. It's exhausting. It's uncomfortable. But it's not about us- not even a little bit. It's about them and showing them the love of a Father that will never leave them or forsake them. There's a lot of great things too- it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, for starters. I love loving kids that have no one to love them. And I can't wait to hug Alina this summer, either. I hope she comes ready to be bear hugged to the moon and back.
So if you're one of the ones that want to host, but you just think "it's just not fair to the child", PLEASE think again. YOU might be the one to turn that child's life around!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Oh Sleep, Where Art Thou?
I have blogged before about my challenging child. One of the things that makes her challenging is her sleep. When she was a baby, I could put her in her crib with her paci, and there wasn't much of an issue getting her to go to sleep. Even if she was awake for awhile, she was mostly quiet. She didn't like to be rocked- she just wanted to be put down and left alone.
Fast forward a couple of years to the arrival of her 'big girl' bed. No more paci, but she usually went to sleep OK. Sometimes she would get books to look at, or play with her baby dolls. Several nights we would go in to check on her only to find she had laid out her shoes or pull ups in straight lines. One night she even lined up her toy chairs and doll furniture.
Now let's skip to the fateful day we moved her into a different bedroom with her older sister complete with bunk beds. That's really the moment the bedtime nightmare began. She cried for nights (and by cried and mean LOUDLY and with GREAT EMOTIONAL FORCE and EXUBERANCE) proclaiming her hate of the new beds and sheets and room and roommate. I kept thinking she was being silly and would get over it. I didn't know then what change does to that kind of child, and it was probably akin to torture for her. In hindsight, I wish I had moved her back and let the littlest sister room with my first born. But I really did think she would get over it, and I sat with her every night while she cried and cried til she went to sleep.
Then somehow it went from crying about the room, to crying was how she released the day's stresses. Still I sat with her. By now several months had gone by. Now adding to the dilemma was that it was lighter outside til way later than 'normal' so it was harder for her to go to sleep. And so here we are, three years later, and I still sit with her every single night because her brain will not turn itself off willingly. And even if her brain is tired, it's not telling her body and there are lots of twitches and itches and wiggles.
There is something called compression therapy (at least I thought that was what it was called til I just Googled it and found nothing in the first 3 pages....) where children with Autism, Aspergers, Sensory Processing Disorders (and other things, I'm assuming) need compression to relax. Think a specially made heavy blanket or a big bear hug or, in my case with Ava, I lay my arms and legs over her to hold her down and keep her still long enough to realize she's tired and her brain can turn itself and her body off. Some nights she'll let me do that, other nights I can squeeze the palm of her hand and it will be enough to relax her.
I am finding though, the older she gets, the trickier it is to get her to sleep. And she won't stay asleep. Sometime between 12 and 4 am she will get in bed with me. Once that involved her trying to get me to get up and start the day. Now, thank the Lord, she will just quietly lay down next to me....at least 3 out of 4 times. The other time she will just want an escort to the bathroom (and I don't really mind that).
So last night I started giving her Melatonin. She went to sleep GREAT. But was up by 12 and then really didn't sleep much the rest of the night. I know this bc I didn't sleep much the rest of the night. So tonight I gave her a slightly higher dose, and we'll see what that does. She went to sleep GREAT again, but I need her to stay asleep.
I would also NOT be surprised if she struggled with Restless Leg Syndrome. I actually had RLS my last pregnancy and anyone who has that has my utmost pity. There are meds for that, but I just want to deal with one thing at a time. If the Melatonin will take care of the sleep situation for now, I'll just stick with that. Also, if anyone has any thoughts or advice, I'll take that too. (Unless you're going to suggest Bendryl, in which case I will punch you in the face. Not really. But still: don't.)
Fast forward a couple of years to the arrival of her 'big girl' bed. No more paci, but she usually went to sleep OK. Sometimes she would get books to look at, or play with her baby dolls. Several nights we would go in to check on her only to find she had laid out her shoes or pull ups in straight lines. One night she even lined up her toy chairs and doll furniture.
Now let's skip to the fateful day we moved her into a different bedroom with her older sister complete with bunk beds. That's really the moment the bedtime nightmare began. She cried for nights (and by cried and mean LOUDLY and with GREAT EMOTIONAL FORCE and EXUBERANCE) proclaiming her hate of the new beds and sheets and room and roommate. I kept thinking she was being silly and would get over it. I didn't know then what change does to that kind of child, and it was probably akin to torture for her. In hindsight, I wish I had moved her back and let the littlest sister room with my first born. But I really did think she would get over it, and I sat with her every night while she cried and cried til she went to sleep.
Then somehow it went from crying about the room, to crying was how she released the day's stresses. Still I sat with her. By now several months had gone by. Now adding to the dilemma was that it was lighter outside til way later than 'normal' so it was harder for her to go to sleep. And so here we are, three years later, and I still sit with her every single night because her brain will not turn itself off willingly. And even if her brain is tired, it's not telling her body and there are lots of twitches and itches and wiggles.
There is something called compression therapy (at least I thought that was what it was called til I just Googled it and found nothing in the first 3 pages....) where children with Autism, Aspergers, Sensory Processing Disorders (and other things, I'm assuming) need compression to relax. Think a specially made heavy blanket or a big bear hug or, in my case with Ava, I lay my arms and legs over her to hold her down and keep her still long enough to realize she's tired and her brain can turn itself and her body off. Some nights she'll let me do that, other nights I can squeeze the palm of her hand and it will be enough to relax her.
I am finding though, the older she gets, the trickier it is to get her to sleep. And she won't stay asleep. Sometime between 12 and 4 am she will get in bed with me. Once that involved her trying to get me to get up and start the day. Now, thank the Lord, she will just quietly lay down next to me....at least 3 out of 4 times. The other time she will just want an escort to the bathroom (and I don't really mind that).
So last night I started giving her Melatonin. She went to sleep GREAT. But was up by 12 and then really didn't sleep much the rest of the night. I know this bc I didn't sleep much the rest of the night. So tonight I gave her a slightly higher dose, and we'll see what that does. She went to sleep GREAT again, but I need her to stay asleep.
I would also NOT be surprised if she struggled with Restless Leg Syndrome. I actually had RLS my last pregnancy and anyone who has that has my utmost pity. There are meds for that, but I just want to deal with one thing at a time. If the Melatonin will take care of the sleep situation for now, I'll just stick with that. Also, if anyone has any thoughts or advice, I'll take that too. (Unless you're going to suggest Bendryl, in which case I will punch you in the face. Not really. But still: don't.)
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| Sure she's cute, but she will keep you up. All. Night. Long. |
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